Unleashing the Terrifying Secrets of Pet Sematary: Bloodlines

Pet Sematary: Bloodlines features the recurring line, "Sometimes, dead is better," which is delivered three times throughout the film. The line serves as an initial dialogue in the opening narration, resurfaces during an action sequence, and concludes as the penultimate sentence before the credits roll. This particular dialogue, famously delivered by Fred Gwynne in the original 1989 film, exemplifies the entire project. It comes across as a melancholic and uninspired attempt to profit from the nostalgia associated with a franchise that would have been better left untouched.

Penned by Stephen King in the early 1980s, Pet Sematary is an anomaly in the celebrated author's extensive repertoire. It was published the year after the release of the first Dark Tower book and the same year as Christine. Despite ranking as King's fifth best-selling novel, trailing behind renowned works like It and The Shining, Pet Sematary is primarily recognized for its striking imagery and premise, rather than its narrative. While the original book manages to withstand the test of time, every adaptation has suffered due to an overreliance on intriguing concepts rather than effective execution.

The shared source material aside, both the initial adaptation of Pet Sematary and its 2019 remake have garnered hatred from critics while amassing adoration from audiences, resulting in an unusual reputation and millions of dollars in pure profit. Riding on this wave, producer Lorenzo di Bonaventura, renowned for his involvement in the Transformers movies, gave the green light for a prequel merely two years after the remake's theatrical release. Almost immediately, directors Kevin Kölsch and Denis Widmyer disassociated themselves from the project, leaving di Bonaventura and screenwriter Jeff Buhler as the remaining driving forces. Buhler, who perhaps achieved his finest work 15 years ago with the gleefully bizarre Midnight Meat Train, has since lent his name to dreadful remakes like Jacob's Ladder (2019) and The Grudge (2020). Joining them as co-writer and director is Lindsey Anderson Beer, marking her directorial debut, though her lack of experience is evident in every scene. One of the film's most peculiar aspects is its distribution on Paramount Plus, a platform typically associated with lower-tier releases. Despite the franchise's enduring box office success, Paramount's confidence in this installment appears to be limited.

Pet Sematary: Bloodlines follows the story of Jud Crandall, a local elder who warns newcomers about the town's burial ground. Set in 1969, Jud plans to leave Ludlow, Maine, a town that suffocates its residents even after death. Despite avoiding the draft, he intends to join the Peace Corps with his girlfriend. However, as his friends either leave or disappear to Vietnam, Jud's plans begin to falter. After accidentally hitting a dog with his car, he takes it home to help it, resulting in his girlfriend's injury. As she recovers, Jud uncovers the horrifying secret of the town's origin and the ancient evil that resides beneath it.

Unfortunately, Pet Sematary: Bloodlines lacks originality, covering well-trodden ground within the horror genre. The concept of the town's parents desperately hiding dark secrets holds potential, but it is quickly abandoned. The film falls into the predictable pattern of a zombie movie, with reanimated corpses attacking once the stakes are established. The action is lackluster and often more comedic than threatening. Even the gore fails to elicit a reaction, with an abundance of blood in otherwise unremarkable scenes. The film seems solely focused on showcasing gore, yet it lacks the shock value needed to make an impact. The story of Bloodlines lacks uniqueness, leaving the sloppy and amateurish execution as its defining feature.

It's the small details that truly enhance a horror film. Take, for instance, Pet Sematary: Bloodlines, which features some of the most subpar sound design in a contemporary movie. The splatters, squelches, and snaps within this film resemble those found in the videogame Splatterhouse. The special effects fail to impress, and a significant portion of the story unfolds in complete darkness, leaving viewers visually disoriented. In theory, Bloodlines was intended to expand the universe of the 2019 remake, potentially creating a marketable franchise. However, this film fails to achieve even that dubious objective. It is merely a cacophony of dreadful sounds and subdued anger, serving no purpose, not even from the most uninteresting perspective.

Pet Sematary: Bloodlines fails to heed its own advice - sometimes, dead is truly better. The characters are devoid of depth, mere vessels to be mercilessly killed off. The scares are feeble and uninteresting, lacking any formidable impact. The storyline is trite and monotonous, lacking originality. Even when considering the generally low expectations set for Pet Sematary movies, Bloodlines proves to be a colossal waste of both time and energy. Let us hope that the individuals involved can somehow resurrect their tarnished reputation. It is high time to inter the franchise in any other burial ground.

Jud Crandall struggles to leave Ludlow, Maine before its dark secrets consume him in this prequel to the 2019 remake of Stephen King's classic.