The Unbreakable Bond of Tori and Candy Spelling: A Journey Through Life's Highs and Lows

The relationship between Candy and Tori Spelling can only be described as complicated. The ups and downs between the Beverly Hills, 90210 star and her mother became public when Tori's father, Aaron Spelling, passed away in 2006. This happened less than a year after Tori received criticism for having an affair with Dean McDermott. At the time, Tori was married to Charlie Shahnaian, while McDermott was married to Mary Jo Eustace. Tori, who inherited only $800,000 of her father's reported $500 million, had seen her dad for the first time in months just weeks before he passed away. She discussed this in her 2008 memoir, as her family struggled to accept her decision to elope with McDermott.

During a radio interview, Candy expressed her belief that the actress was responsible for Aaron's death. She revealed that her daughter had chosen to cut off communication with her husband, herself, and their son several years ago, and this continued to be the case. Candy expressed sadness, attributing her husband's death to the strain caused by their daughter's actions.

Earlier that same year, Candy had written an open letter to her daughter, acknowledging the lack of communication between them and revealing that she had not yet met Tori's eldest daughter, Stella, who was born in 2008. It is worth mentioning that Tori and McDermott have five children together, including Liam (born in 2007), Hattie (born in 2011), Beau (born in 2017), and Finn (born in 2012).

Tori, on her part, informed People that they were not "not talking" but rather they hadn't recently had a conversation.

"I have always loved my mother. I love her without a doubt, and I know she loves me too. There is no feud," she mentioned. "We just never really connected."

Over time, Candy gradually formed a bond with Tori's children and provided assistance to Tori during her financial difficulties in 2013. And as the family conflicts settled, Tori revealed in October 2022 during her interview with Sirius XM's "Jeff Lewis Live" that she and her mother communicate through text messages every day.

Scroll through for a timeline of Tori and Candy’s ups and downs:

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Tori Spelling and Mom Candy Spelling's Ups and Downs Over the Years

Candy and Tori Spelling's relationship is far from simple. The troubles between the Beverly Hills, 90210 star and her mother came to light after the death of Aaron Spelling, Tori's father, in 2006. This coincided with Tori facing criticism for having an affair with Dean McDermott while she was married to Charlie Shahnaian, and McDermott was married to Mary Jo Eustace. Tori, who only inherited $800,000 out of Aaron's reported $500 million fortune, revealed in her 2008 memoir that she had reconnected with her father shortly before his passing, at a time when her family was grappling with her decision to elope with McDermott.

During a radio interview, Candy expressed her belief that the actress was responsible for Aaron's death, claiming that her daughter had cut off communication with their family for the past four or five years. Candy stated that Aaron's emotional state deteriorated as a result of the estrangement, ultimately leading to his decision to end his life. Prior to this, Candy had written a letter to her daughter, highlighting the lack of communication between them and expressing her disappointment in not having the opportunity to meet Tori's oldest daughter. Tori and McDermott have five children together: Liam (born in 2007), Stella (born in 2008), Hattie (born in 2011), Finn (born in 2012), and Beau (born in 2017).

Tori clarified to People that she and her mother were not actively avoiding each other, but they had not communicated recently.

"I hold a deep affection for my mother. I have always loved her, and there is no question that she loves me as well. We do not have any ongoing conflict," she expressed. "We simply have never found a way to connect with each other."

Over time, Candy gradually formed a bond with Tori's children and even provided assistance to Tori during her financial difficulties in 2013. Eventually, the turbulent family situation calmed down. On Sirius XM's "Jeff Lewis Live" in October 2022, Tori disclosed that she and her mother now exchange text messages on a daily basis.

Scroll through for a timeline of Tori and Candy’s ups and downs:

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Tori’s Childhood

“I was very much a daddy’s girl. Reflecting on my childhood in 2014, Tori shared with Access Hollywood that she could now recognize how her father always positioned her parents as a good cop and bad cop duo. He intentionally created this dynamic, so it wasn't solely her mother's doing.”

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2006

Aaron passed away on June 23, 2006. During that time, Tori disclosed that she had the chance to mend her relationship with her father shortly before his death. It was reported that both of Tori's parents faced difficulties in accepting her divorce and affair with McDermott. Tori mentioned that she received the news of her father's demise through an email sent by a close family friend.

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2008

Tori's book, sTORI Telling, published in 2008, chronicles her experiences on Beverly Hills, 90210, her affair with McDermott, and her troubled bond with Candy. During an interview on Larry King's show, Tori mentioned that they had not discussed the book, implying that the revelations in it would shed light on their complex mother-daughter relationship.

As she shared, "During my childhood, my mother and I shared a loving bond, although it was never particularly strong. There was no specific incident that caused any distance in our relationship. We have experienced both positive and challenging moments throughout my life."

Candy expressed her thoughts on the matter during an interview with 20/20, stating, "Many of my friends found the book to be hurtful."

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2009

Candy shared an open letter to Tori, claiming her daughter avoided all contact. 

Candy wrote that she had been unsuccessful in getting a response from Tori and McDermott through various means of communication such as e-mails, phone calls, and text messages. Despite this, she mentioned that she knew they had visited her website, so she was attempting to reach out to them through that platform. She expressed her desire to meet with them and their family privately and referred to it as the "normal family" that they claimed to have always wanted. In an interview with People, Candy revealed that she did not have a relationship with Tori and McDermott, but had met their son Liam in the past, although she had not yet met their daughter Stella.

“I have attempted to communicate with her, but it has been ineffective. It is possible that she is not even aware of the reason behind her anger,” she stated. “If there was any chance of maintaining a relationship with my grandchildren, I would never sell this house [that I used to share with Aaron]. I have been fantasizing for years about having a delightful playhouse on the property for the children. ... Someday, my grandchildren will become acquainted with my identity due to the trust funds I have established, but I would truly like to be a part of their lives at this present moment.”

In response to the outlet, Tori retaliated that same year: “I have not cut her off in any way. If she wishes to be involved in their lives, she is welcome to make the effort. She is aware of how to reach me and knows our address. If she genuinely desires to see her grandchildren, she should actively try to connect and spend time with them.”

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2013

"In my Candy at Last memoir, I openly admit that I am far from a perfect mother and I am not without mistakes during my children's upbringing. Through therapy, I discovered and acknowledged my passive-aggressive behavior and realized that my communication skills were poor," wrote Candy. "However, I strongly believe that there comes a point when one must stop blaming their parents. From my own personal journey, I have learned the importance of taking responsibility for one's own actions and attitudes."

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2014

As the aftermath of McDermott’s affair aired on True Tori, Candy said she didn’t know if her daughter was going to stay with her husband.

"Tori has never really sought my advice," remarked Candy during a television interview in 2014. "I am consistently available for her. I will unwaveringly support Tori, and my sole desire is to be her steadfast ally in whatever endeavors she deems necessary."

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2016

Tori has been in the news for several years due to allegations of unpaid debts. In January, Candy disclosed that she had been assisting her daughter financially, covering expenses such as the house, the children's schooling, and food. She clarified that she was not responsible for any outstanding payments.

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2018

An insider told Us that Tori and Candy’s relationship was still “really complicated,” claiming that Candy “couldn’t stand” McDermott.

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2020

“It’s good, really good right now,” Tori said of her relationship with her mother during an appearance on Watch What Happens Live With Andy Cohen in August.

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2021

As new reports about Tori and McDermott’s marital woes made waves, a source told Us: “Dean doesn’t get along with Candy and she’s never really approved of him.”

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2022

Tori, Candy, and Aaron came together again in September to celebrate their mother’s birthday.

"I believe life is precious and we often overlook that," the actress shared with ET as she spoke about her brother's surprise visit. "We constantly tell ourselves that we should make plans and put in the effort to spend time with loved ones, but our busy lives often prevent us from doing so. Now, I realize the importance of truly dedicating that time, and I'm beginning to understand it."

Tori expressed her enthusiasm about their deepened connection while appearing on SiriusXM's "Jeff Lewis Live" in October. While their relationship was already good, it reached a "next level" after their mutual friend Josh Flagg organized a family meal for them. Tori had not seen her since before the COVID-19 pandemic. She shared, "Josh said, 'Alright, we're going to have a family dinner at her place.' So we went, and it was an amazing night." Tori added that they now have regular conversations.

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2023

Weeks after McDermott made a split announcement and subsequently removed it, Candy informed TMZ that Tori is doing well. When questioned about the possibility of Tori and McDermott's permanent separation, Candy expressed uncertainty but assured her readiness to back Tori's decision, no matter what it may be. "I cannot say for certain," she stated. "I adore my daughter, and I stand by her in every endeavor... I wholeheartedly support my daughter, that's all I can say."

Candy was also asked if she’d offer Tori financial help if needed, to which she responded: “Of course, I will always be there for her.”