Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott: A Rollercoaster Journey

Donna Martin's onscreen turmoil cannot compare to the real-life drama of Tori Spelling. The former Beverly Hills, 90210 star and her husband, Dean McDermott, have been grabbing attention ever since their scandalous beginning.

These two actors crossed paths while working together on Lifetime's Mind Over Murder in 2005, just one year after Spelling tied the knot with her first husband, Charlie Shanian. McDermott, on the other hand, had been married to Mary Jo Eustace for over ten years and had a son named Jack before meeting Spelling.

Less than a year after their initial encounter, Spelling and McDermott decided to get married in Fiji. They wasted no time in starting a family, as their son Liam was born in March 2007. Coinciding with the birth of their first child, the couple also became reality TV personalities by starring in Oxygen's Tori and Dean: Inn Love. The show documented their journey of renovating a bed & breakfast called Chateau La Rue for two seasons. Eventually, they shifted away from the hotel business and the series was rebranded as Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood. Adding to their growing family, Spelling gave birth to their eldest daughter, Stella, during the airing of season 3 in 2008.

As Spelling and McDermott continued to document their lives, their family also expanded with the arrival of their third child, daughter Hattie, in October 2011. Although the reality TV cameras stopped rolling after six seasons, the couple's journey was far from over. In December 2013, after the birth of their second son, Finn, news broke that McDermott had been unfaithful to Spelling. The couple faced the aftermath of the affair head-on in a Lifetime series called True Tori.

Despite facing health scares and financial difficulties, the couple seemed to have emerged stronger than ever five years after the affair. Spelling confidently declared in February 2019 that they no longer had any relationship problems.

“We have the ability to communicate now, and I have found my voice,” she expressed. “Although he may be subjected to an abundance of it, he is remarkably attentive. Women tend to enjoy conversing and providing extensive explanations.”

However, two years later, speculation arose among fans regarding the stability of their relationship after Spelling disclosed in June 2021 that she and her spouse were occupying separate rooms for sleep. During that period, an insider exclusively informed Us that the renowned celebrities had been experiencing significant difficulties for more than a year, and they hinted that the conclusion may be imminent.

The couple appeared to have reconciled by 2023, as they both posted pictures of their family outings on social media. McDermott expressed his love for his wife on her 50th birthday by sharing a nostalgic photo of the actress on Instagram. In May 2023, he wrote, "When I look at you, I see a timeless beauty. You will always be my Donna Martin. You make 50 look amazing!! Happy Birthday Babe. ️ #happybirthday." Explore the timeline of Spelling and McDermott's relationship journey below.

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From Cheating Scandals to Clapbacks: Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott's Ups and Downs

Tori Spelling's tumultuous personal life outshines the onscreen drama of her Beverly Hills, 90210 character, Donna Martin. Since their scandalous beginning, Spelling and her husband, Dean McDermott, have consistently grabbed headlines.

The two actors crossed paths while working on Lifetime's Mind Over Murder in 2005. At that time, Spelling was already married to her first husband, Charlie Shanian, while McDermott had been in a decade-long marriage with Mary Jo Eustace, with whom he had a son named Jack.

Spelling described their initial encounter as love at first sight in her memoir, sTORI Telling. However, her excitement was dampened when she noticed McDermott wearing a wedding ring. He also showed her pictures of his children when asked. Despite being married herself, Spelling admitted to enjoying their flirtation but never expected anything to happen between them.

However, things took a turn when Spelling and McDermott went to a bar after dinner and ended up spending the night together at the Cartier Place. The following morning, as she woke up next to McDermott, Spelling realized that something was seriously wrong with her marriage. It wasn't just the fact that she had slept with another man, although that was certainly a cause for concern. More importantly, she didn't feel any regret about her actions, signaling a deeper issue in her relationship.

Less than a year after their initial meeting, Spelling and McDermott decided to elope in Fiji. It didn't take them long to expand their family, as their son Liam was born in March 2007. Around the same time, they also became reality TV stars through the show Tori and Dean: Inn Love on Oxygen. The series followed their journey of renovating a bed & breakfast called Chateau La Rue for two seasons before being renamed Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood. During the airing of season 3 in 2008, Spelling gave birth to their eldest daughter, Stella.

As their lives unfolded on camera, the couple's family continued to grow. They welcomed their third child, daughter Hattie, in October 2011. Although the reality TV cameras initially stopped rolling after six seasons, the drama in their relationship was far from over. In December 2013, after the birth of their second son, Finn, it was revealed that McDermott had been unfaithful to Spelling. The aftermath of the affair was documented on the Lifetime series titled True Tori.

Despite facing health scares and financial difficulties, the couple's bond seemed unbreakable, even five years after the affair. Spelling reassured Us in February 2019 that their relationship was devoid of any problems.

"We have effective communication now, where I can express myself freely," she elaborated. "He might be overwhelmed by the amount I talk, but he's an exceptional listener. Women tend to talk and elaborate excessively."

In June 2021, Spelling disclosed that she and her husband were sleeping separately, sparking concerns among fans about the state of their relationship. An insider revealed that the couple had been facing significant issues for more than a year, hinting that their relationship could be nearing its end.

However, by 2023, it appeared that the couple had reconciled, as they both shared pictures of family outings on social media. McDermott even celebrated his wife's 50th birthday by posting a throwback photo of the actress on Instagram. In his heartfelt message, he praised her timeless beauty and referred to her as his beloved Donna Martin. McDermott concluded his post by wishing her a fabulous birthday.

Scroll through for a timeline of Spelling and McDermott’s ups and downs:

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July 2005

Spelling and McDermott crossed paths while filming a television movie in Ottawa, Canada, despite both being in committed relationships with other individuals. Spelling, known for her role in Scary Movie 2, openly shared the details of confessing her affair with McDermott to her first husband in her 2009 memoir, sTORI Telling.

“I confessed to him that I had never experienced romantic love for him. Although I cared deeply for him and he had been a supportive friend, my decision to marry him was primarily based on his qualities as a kind and dependable person who looked after me. Unfortunately, Charlie was unwilling to accept this truth,” Spelling expressed. “He repeatedly questioned, ‘Where is all of this coming from? We have an ideal relationship.’ Then, he directed his attention towards me and asked, ‘Did you betray me?’ I admitted to it. He then speculated, ‘It was with Dean, wasn’t it?’ I confirmed his suspicion. He sighed, ‘I should have recognized it.'”

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May 2006

The pair exchanged vows in a private ceremony in Wakaya, Fiji. Less than two months later, Tori’s father, TV producer Aaron Spelling, died from complications of a stroke. 

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March 2007

After the passing of Aaron, speculations arose regarding Tori and her brother Randy inheriting only $800,000 each from their father's estate. Consequently, rumors spread like wildfire about a possible rift between Tori and her mother, Candy.

Amidst the Spelling family's tumultuous situation, Tori and McDermott embarked on their own journey of starting a family. In March, they joyfully welcomed their first child, a baby boy named Liam.

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June 2008

Following the triumph of Tori and Dean: Inn Love, Spelling and McDermott's reality show made a comeback for its third season on Oxygen, now titled Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood. In that eventful year, their daughter Stella came into the world.

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Tori’s relationship with her mother reached a new low in 2009 when Candy publicly accused her daughter and her relationship with McDermott for Aaron's death during a radio interview.

May 2009

She clarified her remarks, but emphasized that Tori's estrangement from her father had a negative impact on him. "I didn't intend to make headlines. I was asked about my daughter's refusal to communicate with my family, and I honestly answered," Candy stated in a statement to HuffPost at that time. "My husband was very sick, and he had stopped eating and drinking. He would call Tori every day, continuously inquiring if she had returned his call. Unfortunately, we had to disappoint him every day."

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April 2010

Spelling and McDermott dismissed the rumors of their separation following the release of their reality series, where they were seen engaging in arguments. In one episode of Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood, Spelling expressed her longing for the return of the old Dean, emphasizing how much she missed him.

Shortly after their public declaration of being devoted to each other on the Today show, the couple decided to renew their vows, further solidifying their commitment to their relationship.

"This is a rebirth," Spelling told Us exclusively at the time. ”We've gone through our ups and downs, but we wouldn't have changed a moment of it."

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October 2011

Spelling and her partner were joyfully surprised by the arrival of their second daughter, Hattie, just six days prior to her scheduled C-section. Reflecting on the unexpected blessing, Spelling shared, "Although the baby wasn't planned, it became clear that she was meant to be part of our lives. Welcoming a third life into this world only deepened our bond as a couple. When I held her for the first time, I looked at Dean and felt a renewed wave of love wash over me."

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After an unplanned fourth pregnancy, which occurred only five months after the birth of Hattie, Spelling received a diagnosis of a severe type of placenta previa and experienced significant bleeding throughout her pregnancy. She underwent four months of strict bed rest in the hospital before giving birth to her son, Finn.

August 2012

"It felt like a surreal experience. The only thought that kept running through my mind was the fear of leaving my three children behind," shared the actress with Us in October 2012. "I constantly pictured myself embracing a perfectly healthy baby. That was my ultimate aspiration."

She further expressed, "The moment they placed him in my arms, a wave of relief washed over me. We had made it, we had accomplished our goal." Now, an indescribable bond exists between us. We have endured unimaginable hardships together."

Credit: Michael Simon/startraksphoto.com

December 2013

It was revealed by Us that McDermott had an affair with Emily Goodhand, who was 28 years old at the time, while they were shooting Chopped Canada on location. Goodhand claimed that McDermott told her he and Tori had a sexless marriage, and she believed him.

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April 2014

To address the challenges in their relationship, McDermott and Spelling decided to share their struggles with the public through a docuseries called True Tori. In one of their therapy sessions captured on camera, Spelling expressed her concerns by exclaiming, "I can never fulfill his sexual needs enough!" She also shared her fear that McDermott would never be satisfied with just her.

McDermott, on the other hand, experienced a moment of utter despair on the reality show True Tori. "In that moment, I felt completely trapped. I had messed up everything that was good in my life," he confessed in an episode aired in April. Overwhelmed with guilt, he even contemplated the idea that Tori would be better off without him. Eventually, he made the decision to seek professional help and entered into a treatment program.

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April 2016

Two years after the affair, McDermott surprised Spelling by proposing for a third time during a family vacation in Paris.  

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October 2016

While their relationship was back on track, Tori and McDermott garnered attention for reportedly having accumulated almost $39,000 in unpaid credit card bills in 2016. Candy, who maintained a positive relationship with her daughter, shared with TMZ at the time that she was providing financial assistance to Tori and her family.

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October 2017

Spelling surprised her fans by revealing her pregnancy with her fifth child in October 2016, shortly after her high-risk pregnancy with Finn. In March 2017, the star of Mystery Girls joyfully welcomed a healthy baby boy named Beau. Spelling later described their third son as the symbol of a new beginning for their marriage.

“We have learned to approach it in a new way,” she reflected a year later. “For countless years, we struggled to prioritize self-care amidst the demands of raising children, as we began our family right from the beginning.”

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March 2018

The Los Angeles Police Department verified to Us that they were called to Spelling's residence on March 1 regarding a verbal altercation. However, they did not disclose whether the dispute involved Spelling and McDermott. According to an insider, Spelling's loved ones and close friends expressed deep concern about her mental state, fearing that she was on the verge of experiencing a breakdown.

In the same month, McDermott's former wife informed Us that Spelling was responsible for providing alimony payments to her ex-husband.

Mary Jo Eustace acknowledged that Tori had taken a step forward by accepting responsibility for the situation. This shift in their relationship was positive. However, after Tori missed a few payments, she informed Eustace that she had been dealing with migraines. Tori expressed her desire to resolve the issue promptly, emphasizing her consistency and the importance of taking care of her health. Eustace agreed to her request.

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May 2018

Following the turbulent family episode, Spelling and McDermott managed to find their way back to a harmonious relationship. Speaking to Us at the time, she expressed, "My husband and I have achieved a remarkable equilibrium. We complement each other perfectly in accomplishing all that needs to be done. We serve as a solid support system for one another, always believing that we are only given challenges that we can handle."

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January 2019

In 2019, Spelling and McDermott faced a challenge that went beyond their professional lives - dealing with Instagram trolls. The couple had to defend themselves against online haters who attacked their parenting choices. McDermott, in particular, stood up for his wife when she faced criticism for a harmless post about feeding their children muffins as a snack. Despite the negativity, the couple remained resilient and supported each other throughout these incidents.

"I find it amusing how some individuals who criticize us have private accounts! It would be interesting to see the faces of these internet trolls who hide behind anonymity and hurl insults without any courage!"

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November 2019

During an exclusive interview with Us, McDermott reflected on the couple's ability to overcome his past indiscretion. He expressed his surprise at Tori's decision not to leave him, acknowledging that he understood why she might have chosen to do so. He shared that Tori's unwavering love for him was evident, despite the hurt and anger she felt. McDermott marveled at her ability to continue loving him, stating that she couldn't simply turn off her feelings.

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May 2020

The married couple celebrated their 14th anniversary in 2020. "You are not only my partner in crime but also my best friend. I admire you for being an incredible father figure, and I appreciate your unwavering support in every situation," Spelling expressed her love and gratitude on Instagram. "Thank you for loving me, and I assure you that I still know how to have fun! Life can become overwhelming at times, but we always have each other to lean on. Let's plan a trip back to Fiji, where we exchanged vows and embarked on this remarkable journey together. My love for you knows no bounds. Forever and always, Your TT Girl xoxo #anniversary #14years #soulmate #happyaniversary️"

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March 2021

After Spelling ditched her wedding band during a public outing, fans noted that she and McDermott didn’t publicly acknowledge their 15th wedding anniversary that May.

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June 2021

The “9021OMG” podcast host addressed speculation about her marriage for the first time when pal Jeff Lewis inquired about Spelling wearing her wedding ring again.

"What is the current situation? Have you put on the wedding ring? Is everything alright?" he inquired on SiriusXM's Jeff Lewis Live. "Because it seems like the last time you were here, things were going well. You were intimate. Are you and your partner still sharing the same bed?"

Spelling disclosed that her "children and dogs sleep in my bed," while mentioning that McDermott has his own "room" in their house. "Ever since he left - this isn't ideal, guys - but since he was away for six months filming in another country, they all stayed with me," she clarified. "So, at the moment, I still have four of them sharing the bedroom with me, as they haven't returned to their own rooms yet."

Credit: Courtesy of Lifetime

June 2021

According to an exclusive source, Tori and Dean have been experiencing significant difficulties for more than a year now. The fact that Tori is openly discussing the possibility of sleeping in separate beds is indicative of the serious problems they are facing. Considering that Tori is aware of her children's exposure to her online statements, her public admission suggests that their relationship may be on the brink of collapse.

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September 2021

Amidst ongoing speculation surrounding their relationship status, McDermott appeared to dismiss the divorce rumors in an episode of the "Feminine Warrior" podcast. He nonchalantly remarked, "If that's the narrative you choose to believe, then go ahead."

The next month, Spelling declined to discuss her marriage when she appeared on The Wendy Williams Show. According to an insider, the actress desired to end the relationship but felt "trapped."

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November 2021

Spelling caused a stir when she shared a family holiday card featuring herself and her children, but noticeably absent was her husband McDermott. The card's signature read, "With Love, from our farm to your home! Xoxo, Tori & Family." In another picture, Spelling displayed personalized stockings on her mantle, yet none were present for her spouse. Responding to a follower who inquired about McDermott's absence, Spelling clarified via Instagram, "Fact: @imdeanmcdermott was filming his new feature film in Canada." Meanwhile, McDermott was captured in photos engaging in what appeared to be a fist fight while playing hockey in Los Angeles.

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March 2022

Contrary to speculation about their breakup, McDermott expressed his admiration for Spelling in his tribute on International Women's Day. Taking to Instagram, the actor wrote, "To these incredibly intelligent, imaginative, resilient, strong, and hilarious women, Happy International Women's Day. I feel incredibly fortunate to have you in my life." McDermott further added, "I love you immensely!! #happyinternationalwomensday #luckyguy."

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June 2022

According to a source, McDermott and Spelling's friends have been informed about their decision to undergo a trial separation. Another insider reveals that the couple has decided to postpone their divorce due to the high costs involved. Both McDermott and Spelling feel trapped in their current situation. The presence of their children makes it even more challenging as they want to ensure their happiness. However, Tori has been experiencing unhappiness for a considerable amount of time. Despite their difficulties, they remain together for the sake of their kids.

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July 2022

Amid rumors of a split, McDermott made his debut on Spelling's Vizio reality show, @Home With Tori. In one episode, as they watched her 1989 film Troop Beverly Hills on a projector with their children, he affectionately called her "cute, babe."

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September 2022

The couple enjoyed Labor Day weekend with their family while attending the Malibu Chili Cook-Off together.

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November 2022

Amid ongoing speculation surrounding his relationship status with Spelling, McDermott expressed that he and his spouse were experiencing an overwhelming sense of joy and contentment in anticipation of the upcoming holidays. "Everything is truly incredible. We're thoroughly enjoying ourselves," he shared with The Sun, playfully mentioning that he was no longer available for any female admirers. "We're relishing the chilly weather and eagerly preparing for the excitement of Thanksgiving and Christmas."

Credit: Courtesy of Tori Spelling/Instagram

January 2023

The couple gathered around the dining table to enjoy a delightful meal with their children. Spelling shared an Instagram photo of the dinner, captioning it with, "A beautifully chaotic table is a reflection of a memorable family feast ️." In the snapshot, McDermott sat at the head of the table, holding his fork and knife.

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May 2023

"Today marks a milestone as you celebrate your 50th birthday. Whenever I gaze upon you, this is the image that comes to mind," McDermott lovingly expressed alongside a nostalgic photo of Spelling, commemorating her special day. "You possess an eternal beauty and will forever be my Donna Martin. You effortlessly radiate charm at 50! Wishing you the happiest of birthdays, my dear. ️ #happybirthday."

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June 2023

Less than one week after the pair stepped out at the Stand for Kids gala in Los Angeles, McDermott announced that they were getting a divorce.

"It is with deep sadness and a heavy heart that, after 18 years of being together and raising 5 incredible children, @torispelling and I have made the difficult decision to separate and embark on separate journeys. Despite this, we remain committed to co-parenting and providing our children with love and guidance during this challenging period. We kindly request that you respect our privacy as we focus on surrounding our family with love and navigating through this difficult time. We appreciate all the support and kindness we have received. Thank you."