A Serendipitous Encounter at 30,000 Feet: A Flight Attendant and Pilot's Enduring Love Story
Pan Am flight attendant Ilona Zahn and pilot Ian Duncan's initial meeting in 1970 left her unimpressed However, their unlikely encounter blossomed into a remarkable 50-year romance, spanning continents and defying all odds
In 1970, on the Pan American Airlines flight from Rome to Tehran, with stops in Beirut and Damascus, flight attendant Ilona Zahn had an underwhelming first encounter with pilot Ian Duncan.
Ilona first spotted Ian a few hours prior to departure. She was standing alongside the rest of the crew in the lobby of Rome's Metropole Hotel, dressed in her sky blue Pan Am uniform.
"We were waiting, engaged in casual conversation," Ilona reminisces.
Ian, tall with pilot stripes adorning each shoulder, approached the crew to greet them and introduced himself as the first officer for the forthcoming flight. "Many pilots were amicable and would make an effort to introduce themselves to new acquaintances," Ilona tells CNN Travel today. "He seemed friendly, although I didn't give it much thought beyond that."
Cut to a couple of hours later, and the passengers found themselves boarding a Boeing 707 at the airport. Meanwhile, Ilona diligently organized the supplies in the first class galley. As a first class attendant, it was also her responsibility to keep an eye on the pilots and cater to their needs. Thus, it came as no surprise when another flight attendant approached Ilona with a series of drink orders directly from the cockpit.
Ilona Zahn, pictured here sitting on a Boeing 707, loved working for Pan American Airlines.
Ilona Duncan
Ilona's colleague compiled a list of the engineer and captain's beverage preferences, which included soda, tea, and coffee. Then, feeling slightly embarrassed, she mentioned a request from co-pilot Ian:
"He mentioned that he would like his beverage to be light and sweet, similar to what the galley girl prefers."
Ilona sighed in exasperation. While she cherished her job and the opportunities it provided to explore the world, the constant barrage of such remarks from both coworkers and passengers was becoming increasingly tiresome.
"Being attractive, I naturally attracted a lot of attention," Ilona reflects. "But on that particular day, I simply wasn't in the mood for anyone bothering me. All I wanted was to be left alone. That was my only desire."
Ilona poured herself a cup of black coffee, her eyes shining mischievously.
"Alright, he's in for a surprise - a blonde and sweet one," she exclaimed. She then headed to the bar and added Tabasco, Worcestershire sauce, salt, and pepper into the cup.
"When I think about all the horrible things I could imagine, I intentionally added them to his coffee," Ilona reminisces. "Afterwards, I topped it off with some cream and casually instructed, 'Alright, bring this to the co-pilot.'"
As Ian took a sip, he immediately spat it out. He was momentarily stunned, but soon burst into laughter and directed his attention to the captain:
"She must like me to go through this much trouble."
From Tehran to Rome
Here's Ilona and Ian pictured together in 1974.
After a late arrival in Tehran, the flight touched down in a pre-revolution Iran. The Pan Am crew was then transported to the Royal Tehran Hilton, a lavish hotel nestled in the foothills of the Elburz Mountains. The customary crew party soon commenced, with the group gathering in the captain's room for cocktails and engaging conversations that lasted well into the early morning hours.
Ilona and Ian observed each other from opposite ends of the room. She was grateful that, following the coffee mishap, he maintained a respectful distance. Ilona also admired his choice of attire - it was her first time seeing Ian outside of his Pan Am uniform, and he donned dark trousers paired with a light-colored cashmere turtleneck. At 25 years old, Ilona estimated Ian to be around 10 years her senior. He appeared to be well-liked and respected by his colleagues.
The following morning, the phone in Ilona's hotel bedroom rang at 10 a.m. Half-asleep and bewildered about the identity of the caller, Ilona cautiously answered.
Ian invited Ilona to accompany him to the bazaar. She agreed but mentioned that she would be ready to leave later as she needed to catch up on sleep. They decided to meet in the afternoon, and a few other crew members decided to join them. Together, they traveled in one of the hotel's private vans.
They explored Tehans Grand Bazaar, admiring copper pots and negotiating for caviar. After an hour, Ilona was eager to return to the hotel. Ian offered to go with her and hailed a taxi.
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The cab became trapped in heavy traffic, causing Ian and Ilona to engage in conversation to occupy their time. Ilona shared details of her life, including being born in Germany at the end of World War II and later intentionally distancing herself from her home country. She had resided in various places such as London, New York, and Paris. Ian, on the other hand, revealed that he was the son of Scottish immigrants but was born in America. His lifelong aspiration had been to become a pilot.
"We are constantly engaged in conversations and thoroughly relish each other's companionship. That's primarily what attracted me to him," Ilona shares.
Later that evening, Ian and Ilona dined alongside their colleagues at a Persian restaurant. Subsequently, Ian extended an invitation to Ilona, asking if she would like to admire the breathtaking view from the balcony of his bedroom.
As they looked out over the city lights, Ian asked Ilona if he could kiss her.
It was, says Ilona, "a long, romantic embrace."
After their Pan Am flight landed in Rome, Ian and Ilona decided to spend their evening exploring the city together. They took a leisurely stroll and made a wish by tossing coins into the Trevi Fountain. Later on, they found themselves engrossed in deep conversations while enjoying drinks at the hotel bar.
The following day, Ilona boarded her flight back to New York while Ian headed to Paris. No contact information was exchanged, nor did they make any promises to meet again. However, a few days later, as Ilona checked her crew mailbox at John F. Kennedy Airport, a note from Ian unexpectedly slipped out. The note expressed Ian's desire to see her again and proposed the idea of bidding on another flight that would take them to Rome and Tehran together.
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An international love affair
Here's Ian and Ilona pictured in Sydney, Australia.
The whirlwind international courtship between Ilona Duncan and Ian commenced. Being a senior first officer, Ian typically had the privilege of selecting his preferred flights. He would inform Ilona about his schedule, and she would make an effort to bid for the same journeys. Their intention was to frequently travel together to Rome. While all Pan Am flight attendants were obligated to be fluent in a minimum of one second language, Ilona possessed proficiency in five languages, including Italian, granting her priority in securing Rome flights.
Ian and Ilona indulged in a remarkable romantic relationship for the succeeding two years. It was a thrilling and delightful experience, enhanced by their career opportunities that allowed them to explore different destinations worldwide. From leisurely strolls along the Seine in Paris to immersing themselves in museums in London, from exploring vibrant stores in Tokyo to embarking on a memorable safari in Kenya.
Ilona recalls, "We used to have an amazing time, flying together almost every month."
In cases when their flights didn't align, they would exchange letters at Intercontinental Hotels commonly visited by Pan Am crew. Alternatively, if they happened to be on different flights, they would connect over the inflight Pan Am radio and have a conversation.
Iona remembers someone approaching her and saying, "There is someone who wants to speak with you." She would then proceed to enter the cockpit, where she would find the person on the Pan Am radio, communicating with her while being 30,000 feet above the ground. This experience was truly astonishing and filled Iona with immense excitement, ultimately strengthening their bond.
"Over time, our love for each other deepened," Ilona remarked.
Not all individuals viewed Ilona and Ian's romantic relationship with the same level of importance. Ilona remembers sharing details about Ian with a friend in New York, only to be informed that he had a "track record of romantic flings."
But to Ilona, Ian was different from the men she usually crossed paths with.
"Living in New York in the 60s, everybody and their brother wanted to date me," she says.
because I was a stewardess. However, I was not fond of the fact that many of these rich men believed they were doing me a favor by taking me out. I desired a companion with whom I could engage in meaningful conversations.
Ilona Zahn, Pan Am flight attendant
Shed always been a little wary about the Pan Am pilots, who were often charming but "they want to go to bed with you, and thats it."
But with Ian, it simply clicked.
"We were deeply in love," Ilona says now. "We shared many common interests. We both had a love for nature and were willing to engage in each other's interests. For instance, I enjoyed classical music, opera, and concerts, and he accompanied me to those events while I joined him on fishing trips."
Ian and Ilona didn't hide their romantic relationship.
"We were renowned for being the enamored couple. Every time we arrived at a station, people would exclaim, 'Here they are again, the lovebirds,' and similar comments."
Some of their colleagues expressed skepticism about the longevity of their relationship and occasionally engaged in teasing. However, others were supportive of Ilona and Ian. During trips, if the captain happened to have a bigger room than co-pilot Ian, he would frequently offer it to them so that Ilona and Ian could have a more spacious accommodation.
At work, Ilona mentions that there was often playful flirtation happening.
"He would come to the galley and make sure everything was fine, just to take a look at me."
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Life at Pan Am
Here's Ilona photographed working in the galley of a Pan Am airplane.
Ilona Duncan
While Ilona indulged in her romance with Ian, she also maintained a strong desire to remain independent. After leaving Germany in her late teens, she embarked on a solo journey. She pursued a science degree with the initial intention of becoming a doctor. However, her passion shifted to languages, leading her to learn French in Paris and obtain her Cambridge Proficiency Certificate in London. Following this, she resided in New York for a period, where she worked at the renowned jewelry store Tiffany's on Fifth Avenue.
In 1968, during her time in Bermuda, Ilona entered a Pan Am office to inquire about volunteering opportunities.
"The volunteer work is not required at Pan American airport," clarified the individual at the counter. "Nevertheless, I can offer you a complimentary ticket to New York for an interview. I am confident that you will be hired as a stewardess."
Securing a position at Pan American typically involved tough competition, but Ilona had an advantage due to her expedited process from the Bermuda office. Holding her documents, she confidently entered the JFK office and was immediately offered a job opportunity.
Ilona reminisces about her time working for Pan American, where her life was essentially devoted to the airline. However, she found the experience delightful due to her immense enjoyment of the job. During that era, air travel with Pan American was considered incredibly lavish, providing Ilona with the opportunity to meet not only notable celebrities but also many other remarkable individuals. Notably, Ilona had the chance to interact with renowned movie stars such as Richard Burton, Elizabeth Taylor, and Sophia Loren.
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The mystique of Pan Am persists to this day, and Ilona affirms that being a flight attendant for Pan Am was undeniably glamorous.
There were frequent parties held in various locations such as New Delhi, Bangkok, and Beirut.
"We would occasionally be away for two weeks straight, traveling from New York to Hong Kong and returning," Ilona recalls. "We always carried elegant attire, such as a classic little black dress."
Behind the glamor was also hard work.
"I scrambled eggs for 120 people in economy," recalls Ilona.
Although the job was exhausting, Ilona thoroughly enjoyed it. She delighted in the opportunity to travel the world and witness locations that others could only experience through travel brochures.
Alongside her role at Pan Am, Ilona also joined a modeling agency. She participated in various perfume and makeup advertisements. Eventually, in 1971, she was selected by Pan Am to feature in a spread for Playboy.
The advertisement stated, "Flying Pan Am offers numerous captivating reasons, with Ilona Zahn being just one of them." The description portrayed Ilona as "the embodiment of comfort, adorned with Pan Am wings. She's a celestial being."
Upon reading it for the first time, Ilona found it "hilarious." The accompanying photos, taken over a span of two days in West Hampton, Long Island and Manhattan, showcased Ilona engaging in various activities such as horseback riding, shopping, and enjoying the beach. Additionally, there were a few snapshots of Ilona at work, dressed in her Pan Am uniform.
A few years later, Pan Am sought a flight attendant to feature in a life-size cardboard cutout displayed in company offices and travel agencies worldwide. Ilona, with her modeling experience, became a candidate of interest. She visited the Pan Am building at 200 Park Avenue and joined approximately 20 other flight attendants in a photography session. Afterward, Pan Am selected their preferred image: a full-body shot of Ilona in the distinctive blue uniform, complete with a necktie and holding a Pan Am bag.
"In 1975, 1976, my poster swiftly made its way into every travel agency, airport, and Pan Am office across the globe," reminisces Ilona. She playfully adds that Ian would now be unable to escape from her - quite literally.
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Eloping to Vegas
Initially, Ian and Ilona had reservations about getting married. Ilona, in particular, had no desire to give up her career as a flight attendant, which was commonly expected of married flight attendants in the 1970s. Additionally, both Ian and Ilona had previous marriages, and Ian had children from his first marriage. Ilona describes their previous marriages as "very short," and she herself considers her own marriage as "meaningless."
Despite this, Ilona and Ian had previously been married, resulting in their lack of enthusiasm towards marriage. Determined to defy societal norms in the 1970s, they chose a different path. Instead of opting for a traditional marriage, they solidified their commitment by investing in a house in Long Island, New York and building a life together there. Unfortunately, their newfound bliss was disrupted when they received an alarming letter informing them that their insurance was null and void as a result of their unmarried status.
Ilona and Ian needed to resolve this right away.
"The only way to do this was to quickly elope to Las Vegas and get married," says Ilona. "So thats what we did."
Ilona and Ian made the most of their Honeymoon, turning their wedding day in 1974 into a memorable experience. Ilona fondly recalls their adventures, which included parasailing, horseback riding, and fishing, among other exciting activities.
Ian and Ilona were unaware at the time, but Ian's pilot friends had secretly made bets on the duration of their marriage. The prevailing belief was that Ilona and Ian would divorce within three years.
According to Ilona, who adopted Ian's surname and became Ilona Duncan upon marriage, their friends doubted their readiness for a committed relationship. They perceived them as individuals seeking enjoyment rather than a long-term partnership.
Ilona and Ian were indeed what she referred to as "strong personalities." They would occasionally engage in arguments. However, upon learning about the wagers, both Ilona and Ian simply dismissed them. They had utmost confidence in their upcoming journey.
"Many individuals ended up losing their bets," Ilona laughingly recalls now. "I suppose people didn't truly grasp who we were."
After getting married, Ilona continued to fly for a few more years before taking a break to raise their children. However, Ian continued his career as a pilot for Pan Am, ensuring that traveling remained an important part of their family life.
Ilona fondly reminisces about a time when Ian was stationed in Sydney, Australia.
"We traveled to Fiji and Samoa, indulging in ample beach time. Our journey also took us to the Great Barrier Reef," she recounts.
After flying with Pan Am, Ilona pursued a career as a language teacher, a path that Ian wholeheartedly supported. Meanwhile, Ian began his employment with Airbus, a renowned aircraft manufacturer, leading the Duncan family to reside in France for a period.
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Navigating life together
Ian and Ilona continued to travel after they both retired. Here they are in China on the Great Wall.
Ilona Duncan
Traveling "never stopped for us, because we always enjoyed it," says Ilona.
For their silver wedding anniversary, Ian treated Ilona to a romantic getaway in Rome. They stayed at the Hotel Metropole, the very place where their paths had first intertwined.
In the late 1990s, Ian bid farewell to his flying career, but his wanderlust remained untamed. Together with Ilona, he purchased a campervan and embarked on a two-year expedition across the United States. Once again, friends placed bets on whether Ian and Ilona would inevitably get on each other's nerves.
But the experience, while sometimes difficult, only brought them closer together.
"I think the main thing that we had is we started the marriage with a lot of love," says Ilona.
The strong foundation they had proved invaluable when their daughter passed away. "We have faced numerous tragedies," Ilona reveals. "Being deeply in love has enabled us to conquer numerous obstacles."
Ian passed away in 2021 at the age of 86. For the last twenty years of his life, he resided with Ilona in their waterfront home located in Virginia—a place that Ilona fondly refers to as a "peaceful haven."
"This is where our journey ultimately led us," she reflects. "People often question how we ended up in Virginia after experiencing life in various other places. However, I believe each place I lived in served a unique purpose during those times."
Ilona still lives in Virginia, in a waterfront home on the Chesapeake Bay.
"I have a lovely view and lots of friends here," she says.
When youre very much in love, you can overcome a lot of things.
Ilona Zahn
Now 78 years old, Ilona spends her winters in Florida with her son and daughter-in-law. She also enjoys a close relationship with one of her stepsons from Ian's first marriage, who shares his father's passion for flying and has worked as a pilot for three decades. Ilona cherishes the moments she spends with her step-grandchildren.
Back in Virginia, Ilona keeps herself busy by performing in the local theater and choir. Over the past few years, she has also authored multiple books about her life, with her most recent publication being a biography of Ian.
She misses him greatly, but strives to make the most of each day.
"Im curious about life, even at my old age," she says. "So this hasnt changed."
Ilona delights in contemplating her life of traveling between countries, her impressive career, and her love story with Ian that spans across five decades.
"My husband used to say, People truly adore a captivating love story," Ilona shares. "We were fortunate to experience a magnificent love affair."
The thought of him still makes me feel butterflies in my stomach. I was deeply in love with him. Even now, as he is no longer here, he occupies my thoughts. And it's not the image of him during his illness in those final two years that comes to mind. Instead, I reminisce about the charming man I first met. And to this day, my love for him remains strong.
