Why Michelle Obama Disapproves of Being Labeled 'Couple Goals' with Barack Obama
Michelle Obama candidly reveals why she rejects the notion of being 'couple goals' with Barack Obama, debunking the perception of their flawless relationship despite their public image
Barack and Michelle Obama Jean Catuffe/GC Images/Getty Images
Michelle Obama opened up about the challenges in her marriage to Barack Obama, going beyond the hashtag "couple goals" image that fans often see. During an episode of the "On Purpose With Jay Shetty" podcast on January 8, the 59-year-old expressed that even the strongest marriages have their share of difficulties.
Michelle tied the knot with the ex-president at the age of 62 in 1992. Despite being together for over three decades, she admitted that there are still times when she regrets things that she has said or done. "After 31 years, yeah, we still do [cross the line], but you know it quicker. And then you apologize," Michelle explained. "You learn how to say my bad, right? That takes a second, right?"
The author of The Light We Carry, who has daughters Malia, 25, and Sasha, 22, with Barack, observed that relationships can be messy.
“I discuss marriage because I believe that it’s something that most people don’t really talk about,” shared Michelle. “It’s important to have these conversations because when you’re going through rough patches in your relationship, it’s easy to think about calling it quits. But really, those challenges are just a natural part of being in a relationship. That’s why I joke about how being mad at your partner for a year doesn’t mean the marriage is over.”
According to Michelle, in reality, couples will spend "decades" thinking "I don't know if I like you," because in marriage, it's normal to have arguments that you need to overcome in order to grow stronger.
"Do you know what's the key? It's not giving up, it's learning. That's the essence of maintaining a relationship. Choosing to work through the tough times instead of quitting. Maybe I would have said something hurtful in year five, and it would have taken days to fix it. But in year 30, it's like 'There they go again.' I know how to address it because we've had years of practice. We've made mistakes, we've messed up, but we're still here after 31 years. It's getting better and better."
Michelle explained that marriage is naturally difficult, even though it may not be socially acceptable to say so. She stated that the most challenging thing a person can do is to build a life with someone who has a completely different background and temperament. When children come into the picture, the difficulty of marriage increases.
Michelle acknowledged that marriage is hard, but she expressed that she wouldn't trade her marriage for anything in the world, despite the challenges and the presidential campaigns. She emphasized that if they hadn't persevered, they would have missed out on all the good things that came from their relationship.
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In order to have a successful marriage, the author emphasized the importance of choosing someone whom you both respect and genuinely enjoy being with, while also acknowledging that your partner is inherently flawed. Despite their imperfections, Michelle advised that the ideal spouse is someone you can honestly affirm your love and respect for, and confidently believe that you can work through any challenges together.
