Unleash the Power of Vibrancy: How to Spice Up Your Dating Profile

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In the already bewildering realm of online dating, there is now an additional shade of flag. Alongside the traditional green and red signals, there exists a neutral counterpart, further complicating the decision of whether to proceed or halt a blossoming relationship.

Meet the beige flag.

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The phenomenon known as #beigeflag, which became popular on TikTok earlier this year, continues to gain momentum with over 1.3 billion views. This trend revolves around sharing unique personality traits on social media, such as using timers instead of alarms and lacking any significant trauma.

The ambiguity of these characteristics adds to the perplexity surrounding beige flags.

Jennifer McGillan, 48, from Starkville, Mississippi, explained that when she thinks of beige flags, she envisions things that are generally average to positive and widely regarded as sensible, unremarkable, or perhaps slightly offbeat but not actively detrimental. She initially came across the term on X (previously known as Twitter) in discussions related to fandom, specifically relating to identifying beige flags for BTS members and other K-pop bands.

The discussions on social media prompted McGillan, who is currently in a relationship, to contemplate what a "beige flag" would mean to her. After careful consideration, she concluded that it would involve "someone expressing strong opinions about the infield fly rule."

"As an archivist," explained McGillan, "I don't personally hold strong sentiments regarding others' views on the infield fly rule. I recognize that it is a contentious subject among baseball enthusiasts, but for me, it serves as a beige flag."

McGillan may also consider it a beige flag if someone has a habit of "arranging books according to their colors," which she finds amusing but also mentally discomforting.

If all of this seems highly dependent on personal opinion, that's precisely what a beige flag signifies.

The term beige flag has recently made its way into the dating vocabulary, serving as a convenient way to describe certain aspects of dating that may not necessarily be red flags, but still warrant some caution for the person on the receiving end. Alyssa Mairanz, the founder of Empower Your Mind Therapy, a couples and relationship counseling practice based in New York City, explains this concept.

Beige flags can be quirky or funny behavioral quirks that might give a potential date pause but aren't quite deal-breakers, experts said.

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While not necessarily a deal-breaker, beige flags can represent something a little unusual, she explained.

"The concept of beige flags, compromising versus settling, and deal breakers often arise in conversations about dating," mentioned Mairanz via email. "Using terms like these can assist individuals in accurately articulating uncertain situations or emotions."

While red and green flags are more easily understood, Mairanz emphasized the importance of acknowledging that the notion of successful dating and the flags to be aware of—whether green, red, pink (indicating a less severe red flag), beige, or otherwise—are entirely subjective and tailored to each person."

Eliminating beige flags from conversations and dating profiles is crucial for Blaine Anderson, founder of Dating By Blaine, a coaching website for heterosexual men. This strategic approach assists his clients in distinguishing themselves in the vast sea of potential partners, especially in the online dating realm.

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One of the most common beige flags on anyones dating profile is the line "I love to travel," she said.

"Who doesnt love to travel?" Anderson said. "Its effectively non-descriptive."

Anderson, via email, emphasized the importance of specificity in overcoming any potential obstacles. She specializes in assisting clients in crafting compelling, one-of-a-kind narratives that resonate with their target audience - women, to be precise. Whether it is online or in-person communication, Anderson ensures that her clients effectively convey their message.

Instead of simply proclaiming your love for travel, she suggests sharing a specific experience, like the time when the Venice canals started flooding while you were exploring, or any other significant travel memory. Dive deeper than just labeling it as a mediocre preference.

Sharin Shafer, the COO of Bond, The Agency, a members-only London matchmaking service, suggests that individuals who encounter beige flags should avoid hastily labeling them. A touch of grace can have a significant impact.

"Sometimes, certain actions are labeled as beige flags as they are commonly associated with harmless conduct," she stated in an email to CNN. She provided illustrations like exclusively sitting in a forward-facing position on a train or consistently indulging in pizza on Fridays.

According to her, it may be simple to categorize such behaviors as beige flags if they appear odd or uncommon. However, she suggested an alternative perspective, considering them as individuals "embracing their personal preferences."

If you don't find the beige flags and quirks to be significant or bothersome, she suggested considering it as a sign of your potential partner's confidence in their own preferences and dislikes.

However, she emphasized that red flags should never be downplayed. "They serve as warnings, steering us clear of harmful or toxic situations that may result in harm or emotional pain."

Real-life communication is crucial. As beige flags continue to gain popularity on social media, it is essential to address this topic with a potential partner and take time to reflect on it individually (offline).

According to Clarissa Silva, a behavioral scientist and relationship coach based in New York City, people frequently seek online crowdsourced answers to clarify what behaviors are acceptable or tolerable. Silva recommends her clients to envision different scenarios to determine what actions they consider acceptable and tolerable in their relationship. These unique habits can either serve as positive indicators or warning signs.

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Silva said that common warning signs her clients have noticed are women expressing frustration with their male partners' lack of planning initiative. This can be seen as either a cause for concern or a positive aspect, she explained.

According to Silva, this issue can lead to feelings of resentment when women feel overwhelmed and taken advantage of. On the other hand, when women are given the freedom to take charge of the planning, they feel empowered to pursue their own desires without any interference from others.

Men have raised beige flags when they complain about their partners constantly repeating information, constantly sharing unnecessary details about their friends' life events, or excessively celebrating trivial events throughout the day. According to Silva, this behavior can be seen as a sign of potential nagging in the future.

However, Shafer advises against overanalyzing beige flags.

"If you are rejecting individuals solely based on a quirk that doesn't align with your vision of an ideal partner, you might overlook valuable prospects for a meaningful and fulfilling long-term relationship," she advised. "Unless the minor drawback contradicts your core values or beliefs, try to set it aside."

"Get to know the person and see if you can dismiss the flag completely rather than fixating on it before you have really gotten to know your potential partner," Shafer said.