The Most Bizarre Roman Roy Quotes from Succession

9. 'I Have This Overwhelming Urge To Either Knee Someone In The Vagina Or Spit On The Floor.'

In a startlingly candid moment, Roman Roy reveals his unconventional approach to discomfort, using vivid language to articulate his emotions. This quote reflects Roman's inclination for shockingly irreverent expressions in everyday situations, solidifying its status as one of his more peculiar remarks.

9. 'I Have This Overwhelming Urge To Either Knee Someone In The Vagina Or Spit On The Floor.'

8. 'I Thought I Smelled Dairy.'

When Roman unexpectedly smells dairy amidst an intense conversation with his siblings, it's an entirely random and irrelevant comment. The strangeness lies in how it conveys his tendency to emotionally withdraw when conversations require sincerity.

The Roy kids gathered together in Succession

7. 'What The F**k Is This Obsession With Milk? You Know Who Drinks Milk? Kittens And Perverts.'

The statement that 'kittens and perverts' are the primary milk drinkers is the perfect example of Roman's talent for bizarre, vulgar humor. The sheer randomness of categorizing such disparate groups as the predominant milk lovers highlights Roman's tendency to reflexively fall back on quipping outlandish, coarse associations, no matter how ordinary the actual subject may be.

Shiva and Roman stand next to each other in Succession

6. 'I'm Going To Take A S**t. Want Me To Livestream It?'

Instead of simply informing Shiv that he is going to the restroom, Roman exhibits his tendency for reflexively making vulgar, highly inappropriate remarks by offering to livestream himself doing the deed. The sheer gratuitous randomness of proposing such an outrageously improper broadcast highlights Roman's predisposition for constantly reaching for the most shockingly crude analogies possible, no matter how mundane the situation.

Roman and Connor talk to each other at a party in Succession

5. 'I Jerked Off In Gerri's Bathroom Last Night.'

When Roman candidly reveals to his family he privately masturbated the night prior in Gerri’s bathroom, the jaw-dropping oversharing encapsulates Roman’s complete lack of personal boundaries and verbal filter, even regarding lewd taboos. The matter-of-fact delivery combined with the uncomfortable TMI nature of the confession adds an unparalleled level of strangeness.

Roman Roy talking to Gerri in a scene from Succession.

4. 'Ken Did Great. It Was Tom Who Farted In His S**t.'

Roman's crude declaration encapsulates his singular talent for weaving vulgar metaphors. The fact that Roman gravitates toward such an unnecessarily graphic scenario underscores his penchant for instinctually reaching for the most childishly inappropriate comparisons, no matter the actual context.

Roman in a suit in front of people in Succession

3. 'Hey, Buddha, Nice Tom Fords.'

While Kendall is known for being just as ruthless, Roman refers to him as 'Buddha' as a playful jab at his sudden embrace of Buddhism following his unsuccessful takeover bid, specifically while critiquing his pricey shoes. Given Buddhist principles of non-attachment, Roman essentially undermines the authenticity of Kendall’s spiritual awakening by highlighting his still-extravagant materialism.

Brian Cox as Logan Roy sitting in a chair in Succession

2. 'He's Afraid Of Needles. He's Not A Real Junkie.'

Roman delivers this line after Kendall confides that he once dangerously experimented with heroin. It’s an insensitive response that exposes Roman’s lack of empathy. Furthermore, his disdainful remark about what constitutes “real” addiction weirdly attempts to establish some sort of arbitrary benchmark.

Jeremy Strong, Alan Ruck, Sarah Snook, and Kieran Culkin as Kendall, Connor, Shiv, Roman, and Willa stand up at Logan's funeral in Succession season 4, episode 9

1. 'I Have This Overwhelming Urge To Either Knee Someone In The Vagina Or Spit On The Floor.'

In a startlingly candid moment, Roman Roy reveals his unconventional approach to discomfort, using vivid language to articulate his emotions. This quote reflects Roman's inclination for shockingly irreverent expressions in everyday situations, solidifying its status as one of his more peculiar remarks.

Connor and Willa holding hands at their wedding in Succession season 4