Majority of Parents Experience Feelings of Isolation and Exhaustion, Study Reveals

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Anne Helmes, a full-time human relations worker and mother to Chase (6) and Millie (3), often experiences feelings of isolation and loneliness.

Anne Helmes is shown with her son Chase (right) and daughter Millie (left).

Anne Helmes is shown with her son Chase (right) and daughter Millie (left).

Lindsay Hutchinson

"I work from home, and during video meetings or calls with our employees, the focus is mainly on the topic being discussed. I don't have much personal interaction like asking 'How are you? How's your family doing?'" mentioned Helmes, a 36-year-old resident of Powell, Ohio.

Working from home has its perks, like avoiding a long commute that takes away precious time with family. However, there are days when my dog is my main source of conversation.

A recent survey by the Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center in Columbus revealed that many parents struggle to connect with other adults while balancing the demands of parenting.

In reality, a survey of 1,005 parents revealed that 66% of them admitted to feeling isolated and lonely at times due to the demands of parenthood. Additionally, almost 40% expressed feeling unsupported in their role as parents.

Kate Gawlik, an associate clinical professor at the Ohio State University College of Nursing in Columbus who led the research, shared, "I'm a mom of four."

She mentioned, "I lead a very hectic life." Despite being busy, she emphasized the importance of maintaining friendships and engaging in meaningful conversations with like-minded individuals.

The prevalence of parental burnout is on the rise.

About 62% of the survey participants expressed feeling burnt out from their parenting duties. This is understandable as feelings of isolation and loneliness often accompany burnout, as noted by Kacey Cardwell, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Atlanta and clinical fellow for the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy.

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Hand opening a frozen pizza

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When parents feel lonely and isolated, it shows that their own needs as adults are not being taken care of as they are focusing all their energy on their child. This can lead to burnout, as explained by Cardwell, who was not part of the study.

Burnout, according to Gawlik, is described as a state of extreme exhaustion.

"Parents have always experienced burnout, but the pandemic has intensified it," she said. "We were suddenly expected to juggle work and homeschooling without any time off."

When the pandemic struck, Helmes was pregnant with her daughter. Shortly after, her husband was furloughed and they lost their son's daycare.

"We had to be careful with our spending," she mentioned. "Being pregnant during the pandemic meant I had to be extra cautious about being around people and I had to limit my interactions with others."

Don't let burnout take hold, experts say. Reach out for help.

Don't let burnout take hold, experts say. Reach out for help.

Justin Paget/Digital Vision/Getty Images

Parents need to connect with other parents

Like many other parents, Helmes worked in an office before the pandemic and was used to the social interaction that often came with the territory.

She would often see people in the break room, walking down the hall, in-between meetings, after meetings, and would just casually start talking to them about what’s happening in their lives.

However, even with this effort, Helmes still felt isolated at times while parenting, especially when her children faced age-appropriate challenges that she and her husband found puzzling.

She mentioned that her husband is incredible, but she felt the need to connect with another mom. Her best friend's kids were older, and she didn't have anyone with children the same age as hers. It's common to feel isolated and like you're dealing with challenges on your own.

Nearly 80% of parents expressed a desire to have a support system of other parents beyond their work and home environments. Despite this, some parents may hesitate to acknowledge their feelings of loneliness and isolation, fearing they may appear indifferent towards their children.

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Teen girl with yellow nail polish. Unrecognizable person.

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Gawlik emphasized not to think in that manner.

She explained, "We've all been in situations where we are surrounded by people but still feel alone, haven't we? The same goes for parenting. You are definitely forming a strong connection with your children, but it's a unique parent-child bond, different from a friendship, family, or spousal connection."

Networking with other parents is essential for those who may be feeling isolated and overwhelmed, according to Cardwell.

She recommends starting by building connections within your local community. By reaching out to people who live nearby, you may discover a walking buddy, crafting buddies, opportunities for carpooling, or even assistance with babysitting right in your own neighborhood.

“After that, you can try community organizations, parent organizations, school associations, churches or synagogues,” she added.

Social media groups are not enough, Cardwell said.

According to a new study, disrupted sleep in parents and disrupted sleep in their children are each correlated with increased stress in the parents

According to a new study, disrupted sleep in parents and disrupted sleep in their children are each correlated with increased stress in the parents

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Sleep disorders can cause increased stress for parents. According to an expert, simply engaging on social media is not the same as having a personal conversation with someone, especially when connecting with other mothers who are going through similar experiences with their young children. This allows for sharing and seeking support in a more meaningful way.

Helmes found a new source of support and energy in a positive parenting group led by Gawlik. She believes that being part of the group has helped her become a better parent.

"It was a relief to connect with other parents who were going through similar experiences," Helmes shared. "I felt understood and validated when someone would share a story and I could relate by nodding along."

Editor's P/S:

The article sheds light on the prevalent issue of parental isolation and loneliness, particularly among working parents who often lack meaningful adult interactions. The survey findings reveal that a staggering 66% of parents experience feelings of isolation and loneliness due to the demands of parenting, while 62% report feeling burnt out. This burnout stems from the lack of support and the overwhelming responsibility of caring for children while neglecting their own needs.

The article emphasizes the importance of networking with other parents to combat these feelings. It suggests reaching out to people in the local community, joining parent organizations, or participating in social media groups. However, it cautions against relying solely on social media connections, as they often lack the depth and personal connection of face-to-face interactions. By building a support system of like-minded individuals, parents can share experiences, seek advice, and reduce feelings of isolation and loneliness.