Analysis: Melania's Complex Approach to Standing by Her Man
Journalist Jill Filipovic delves into the intricate dynamics of Melania Trump's stance as her husband faces legal battles. Filipovic highlights Melania's deliberate absence from court and explores her refusal to conform to traditional 'stand by your man' expectations. She portrays Melania as a multidimensional figure who asserts her autonomy in navigating her marriage and personal decisions.
Jill Filipovic, a journalist from New York and author of "OK Boomer, Let's Talk: How My Generation Got Left Behind," shares her opinions in this commentary. You can follow her on Twitter.
Former President Donald Trump is currently in a Manhattan courtroom, facing charges related to a hush-money payment made to adult film actress Stormy Daniels. This payment allegedly occurred while he was married to Melania, just months after the birth of their son Barron. Interestingly, Melania is not present in the courtroom.
Jill Filipovic.
Jill Filipovic.
Courtesy Jill Filipovic
This is not the first allegation of Trump cheating on Melania; he allegedly paid to cover up a separate affair with Playboy model Karen McDougal while Melania was pregnant.
Sure, Melania is still supporting her husband, Donald Trump. They are still married, and Melania has been helping with his presidential campaign. However, she is not involved in the legal issues arising from allegations of Trump cheating on her and trying to hide it. Trump denies the affairs with Daniels and McDougal, and he has pleaded not guilty to the hush money charges.
Good for her.
Gone are the days when women were expected to stand by their unfaithful husbands. Relationships can be complex, with both parties making mistakes and showing forgiveness.
Melania's choice to remain married to Donald, despite his well-known affair, is her own decision. However, her decision to stay with a man who has a history of infidelity and promotes misogynistic and anti-immigrant views says something about her character. Standing by him during affair allegations is different from publicly forgiving him by appearing by his side at events or trials.
Former First Lady Melania Trump stands alongside her husband, former President Donald Trump at a fundraising event in Palm Beach, Florida on April 6, 2024.
Many wives of politicians and prominent men have had to stand quietly next to their unfaithful husbands as they publicly apologized. These affairs usually involved lying to the press or others. For example, Bill Clinton faced impeachment for lying about his sexual affairs while in office. Despite this, he and Hillary Clinton are still married to this day.
When former Idaho Sen. Larry Craig was caught allegedly soliciting sex in an airport restroom, his wife stood by his side at a news conference where he announced his resignation - a decision he later reversed. Despite his history of opposing gay rights legislation, Craig faced multiple allegations of pursuing or engaging in sexual activities with men.
Similarly, former New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer's wife, Silda Wall Spitzer, stood beside him at a press conference where he confessed to paying sex workers. Despite her stoic appearance, they eventually divorced following the scandal.
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When New York mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner publicly apologized for sending graphic sexual messages to women on social media, his wife Huma Abedin stood by his side. As of 2022, the couple mentioned that they were finalizing their divorce.
Former Louisiana Sen. David Vitter, known for his "family values" Republican image, was involved in the DC Madame scandal for paying for sex workers. Despite this, his wife Wendy stood next to him during the obligatory press conference to apologize.
The typical scenario of a politician apologizing with his tense-jawed expression, while his wife stands silently by his side, is so common that it was even featured as the opening scene in the TV show "The Good Wife." The show revolves around the theme of a political spouse facing betrayal and deciding on her next steps.
Many women, myself included, have likely watched such scenes and thought to themselves: Instead of standing there, she should be treating herself to a spa day or enjoying a weekend getaway in Paris with her friends, letting him deal with his own mess.
A sign that says "Melania knows" is being flown by an airplane over the Rochester Opera House. This happened before a campaign rally with Donald Trump, who is running for president as a Republican, in Rochester, New Hampshire on January 21, 2024.
Many women who have discovered that their husbands have cheated on them may feel pressured to help salvage their husbands' reputations and careers. This does not necessarily mean that the affair will lead to divorce. Handlers, publicists, staffers, and even the men themselves may exert immense pressure on these women in such situations.
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It doesn't look good when a spouse is missing during a marital issue that turns into a political crisis. When a woman supports her husband, it shows that forgiveness is possible, which may also help sway voters.
One may ponder what would occur if the situation was reversed, with the male half of a famous pair having an affair and needing to publicly seek forgiveness. Would many women endure the embarrassment of standing silently beside their apologetic husbands? Would Melania remain married to Donald if he was accused of multiple public affairs?
To clarify, Melania is not leaving Donald. She simply is not attending lengthy court hearings. She is supporting him on the campaign trail, albeit in a limited capacity, and has always let him take the spotlight. As he runs for president again, she appears to support his political goals – even his authoritarian plans for the country. Melania remains somewhat of a mystery – it is unclear if she holds strong political beliefs – but she is committed to staying with her husband despite his questionable behavior.
Melania is a complex individual who wears many hats. She is seen as a wife who has been mistreated and yet admirably refuses to pretend everything is okay. She is a woman who has the power to decide what she wants for her marriage and her future. Despite being married to a controversial and potentially harmful figure in American politics, she chooses to stand by him and support his political ambitions.
Editor's P/S:
The article highlights the
