When is the right time to introduce your partner to Thanksgiving festivities?
Deciding whether to bring your significant other to Thanksgiving? Discover the perfect timing, essential tips to prepare them for the family holiday, and exciting ideas for a memorable Thanksgiving Day together
Discover new ways to make your Thanksgiving feast unforgettable, with all eyes on the newcomer at the dinner table.
Inviting your partner to Thanksgiving represents a significant milestone in the progression of any relationship. According to Dr. Viviana Coles, an expert in relationships and intimacy and the author of "The 4 Intimacy Styles: The Lasting Physical Intimacy," extending this invitation communicates to your family members that your partner holds immense importance and is deserving of getting acquainted with.
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Having someone accompany you to Thanksgiving dinner, or any holiday meal for that matter, can significantly impact your relationship, according to eHarmony relationship expert Laurel House. Dealing with nosy family members inquiring about your love life can be a highly stressful and overwhelming experience, particularly if your partner is ill-prepared to handle such questioning. House has witnessed instances where couples have broken up immediately following a family event.
during the holiday season, and how can you ensure that they make a positive and lasting impression?
Every couple's relationship is one-of-a-kind, resulting in a distinct timeline for each pair. Some individuals might feel comfortable inviting their partner over within a few weeks, whereas others may prefer to wait for a prolonged period.
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According to Shan Boodram, a sex and relationship expert at Bumble, it is recommended to adopt a gradual, mutual, and logical approach. Boodram suggests evaluating the progress in your relationship and considering the steps both of you have taken before extending a Thanksgiving invitation. It is advised to have spent time together in various situations, such as socializing with each other's friends or becoming physically intimate.
House adds that bringing someone to a family event should only happen when you have spent enough time together to truly know each other. It is crucial that both individuals are aware of each other's insecurities, nervousness, and discomfort, and have reached a level of confident vulnerability in the relationship.
Having your romantic partner meet the family before you have defined the relationship can create an uncomfortable situation for both your partner and your relatives. Boodram highlighted that the initial few months of dating, known as the honeymoon phase, are when people tend to view their partner through rose-colored glasses.
This photo taken on November 3, 2019 shows a general view of parents and participants looking over information as they take part in a match-making party in Tokyo. - Roughly a quarter of Japanese people between 20 and 49 are single, according to government data, and while people of this age routinely express a wish to get married, outdated social attitudes and increasing economic pressure is making tying the knot more and more difficult, experts say. (Photo by Toshifumi KITAMURA / AFP) / TO GO WITH Society-marriage-Japan-gender-family,FEATURE by Kyoko Hasegawa (Photo by TOSHIFUMI KITAMURA/AFP via Getty Images)
This photo captures a match-making party in Tokyo on November 3, 2019, where parents and participants are seen reviewing information. According to government data, approximately a quarter of Japanese individuals aged between 20 and 49 are single. Although people in this age group often express a desire to get married, experts assert that outdated social beliefs and increasing economic pressures are increasingly hindering marriage. The photo was taken by Toshifumi Kitamura and is courtesy of AFP/Getty Images.
In Japan, young people struggle with dating to the extent that their parents are taking on the role for them. Instead of considering the future or their shared goals, they tend to focus on their current emotions and infatuations with the person. Shan Boodram suggests that while it's not necessary to discuss long-term plans, it is important to have a clear understanding of one's current situation.
Couples should discuss the ultimate objective behind inviting their partner to Thanksgiving. Is it to introduce them to the family, strengthen the bond between partners, or get the approval of someone whose opinion holds significance? If any of these apply, Coles suggests initiating a conversation.
Make sure your significant other is ready for a family-oriented holiday.
In an ideal scenario, all your relatives would warmly embrace your partner. However, some may jump to conclusions, others may be curious, and some may choose not to engage at all. The pressure to make a favorable first impression on everyone during a holiday meal can be overwhelming for your partner.
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Coles suggests having a pre-holiday meeting with a couple of relatives. It is recommended that your significant other meets your parents or other significant family members several days prior to the holiday. This enables your partner to establish important connections and have familiar faces to interact with during the festive gathering.
"Building a connection between you and your partner's closest family member in advance can help them feel more comfortable with your family dynamics," House explained. "It's a helpful way to prepare them before entering into the whole family dynamic."
To ensure your partner feels even more relaxed during Thanksgiving, here are some tips on appropriate attire and conversation topics to avoid. While politics and religion are generally considered off-limits, it's particularly important to steer clear of these topics if your partner's beliefs differ from those of your family members. Additionally, House suggests providing your significant other with a brief overview of the family members who will be present, especially those with whom there may be strained relationships.
On Thanksgiving Day, if you plan on inviting your partner, it is suggested by Coles that you bring a gift as a gesture of gratitude for the invitation. Opt for a side dish or dessert, ensuring that it is not something that someone else has already committed to bringing. To avoid unintentionally creating a competitive atmosphere, it is advisable to refrain from bringing a dish that duplicates what someone else has volunteered to make, such as mashed potatoes.
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On Thanksgiving Day, your partner should anticipate numerous inquiries. Occasionally, the conversation may become inappropriate or deteriorate. In such instances, Boodram recommends establishing a safe word or gesture, such as tapping your leg three times, to indicate when it is time for you to intervene or redirect them elsewhere.
Although it may seem excessive, being prepared is preferable to feeling stressed. House suggests that devising a strategy to navigate the holiday successfully is not disingenuous but rather a way to enable your partner to showcase their best version to your family.
Jocelyn Solis-Moreira is a New York-based freelance health and science journalist.
