Valerie Bertinelli Reflects on Her Past Marriage with Tom Vitale Without Blame

Valerie Bertinelli 'Just Can't Blame' Ex Husband Tom Vitale for Their 'Toxic, Horrible Marriage'

Valerie Bertinelli. John Lamparski/Getty Images for NYCWFF

Valerie Bertinelli is sharing the reasons behind her divorce from ex-husband Tom Vitale. During an episode of The Drew Barrymore Show on Monday, April 15, Bertinelli, 63, expressed that she doesn't solely blame her ex-husband for their unhealthy and unhappy marriage.

Valerie Bertinelli, best known for her role in One Day at a Time, got engaged to Vitale in 2010 after six years of dating. They exchanged vows in January 2011. Bertinelli filed for legal separation in November 2021, citing irreconcilable differences, and their divorce was finalized in November 2022. (Bertinelli was previously married to the late Eddie Van Halen in 1981, with whom she shares a son, Wolfgang. They separated in 2001 and divorced in December 2007.)

In February, Bertinelli shared a reflective Instagram video regarding her split from Vitale. She expressed, “I am over it. I’m over the narcissist. I’m long over the narcissist. What I’m working on is, what made me tolerate the intolerable?”

Reflecting on the end of their relationship on Monday, Bertinelli shared that she now sees things differently. She acknowledged, "It's not his fault." She also realized, "What brought me to this point? Oh, childhood! That's something I need to address and work on."

She started her acting journey at the young age of 14 in 1974 and was selected by producer Norman Lear the following year for his sitcom One Day at a Time. She went on to star in the show for ten years.

Looking back on her career, she confessed that being a teenage TV star was challenging.

She told Barrymore that the business can have a negative impact on a child's mental well-being. She is going back to her childhood experiences and focusing on that.

The 49-year-old talk show host could easily understand Bertinelli's journey as a young star. Barrymore was only 7 years old when she starred in Steven Spielberg's iconic movie E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial. She has been open about her challenges with drugs and alcohol during her early acting career.

Despite going through a divorce, Bertinelli hasn't lost hope in finding love. She shared that she is now in a new relationship with a younger man.

"I never planned on dating again. I thought I would just live happily alone with my six cats and my dog," she joked. "But then he came into my life unexpectedly. He's actually 10 years younger than me."

Valerie Bertinelli 'Just Can't Blame' Ex Husband Tom Vitale for Their 'Toxic, Horrible Marriage'

Vincent Sandoval/Getty Images

Bertinelli excitedly shared with Barrymore about her boyfriend, whom she chose not to mention by name.

"He's really special. He may come across as complex and mysterious, but he's actually very considerate, caring, and incredibly talented," she added. "He's an exceptional writer. And let me tell you, he's not just good-looking, he's incredibly attractive. He's everything to me."

Bertinelli shared that she found her current boyfriend on social media while she was still married to Vitale. She remembered starting to follow him on Twitter around 2016 or 2017. She mentioned that he had a large Twitter following and was known for being funny, sharp-witted, and interested in politics at that time.

The actress mentioned that they started exchanging messages gradually.

"He would occasionally send direct messages, with sweet and kind comments," Bertinelli shared. "It wasn't intrusive at all... just really friendly. He also made it clear that he wasn't looking to start a relationship with anyone."

The DMs led to texts, phone calls and FaceTiming, and they finally planned to connect in person.

“I met him in New York a month ago and I’m just gone,” Bertinelli said.

Editor's P/S:

candid reflections on her divorce from Tom Vitale offer a profound exploration of the complex dynamics within relationships. Her realization that she also bears responsibility for the unhealthy aspects of their marriage highlights the importance of self-awareness and accountability in fostering healthy partnerships. Bertinelli's journey underscores the need for individuals to confront and heal past experiences that may have shaped their relationship patterns. Her willingness to delve into her childhood experiences to understand her own contributions to the marital discord is a testament to her commitment to personal growth and