Unveiling the Unexpected: How My Sober October Transformed My Life Forever

Editors note: Jemal Polson is a social media producer at CNN, based in London.

It wasnt something I originally intended to do long term.

Refraining from consuming alcohol for a few weeks or even a month was a familiar practice for me. Nonetheless, it was inevitable that my drinking habit would eventually escalate again, accompanied by subsequent anxiety and remorse that frequently lingered for days.

I understood the solution to address these problems — the means to cease generating the most dreadful possibilities of what I might have done or what could have occurred the previous night. However, to be honest, I was in denial.

Giving up drinking for an indefinite amount of time was too big a leap for me. But in October 2022, I knew I needed to break the cycle.

midsection of woman pouring water from a water bottle, keeping hydrated during summer.

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Consider embarking on a Sober October for reasons that may surprise you. Seasoned professionals provide a comprehensive guide to successfully undertaking this endeavor. Following the fortuitous discovery of a CNN Wellness article, coincidentally encountered during a particularly unpleasant hangover, I commenced my personal voyage towards sobriety.

After thoroughly reading it, I decided to purchase "This Naked Mind: Control Alcohol" by Annie Grace, which was mentioned in the second paragraph of the story. It soon became evident that simply participating in Sober October was insufficient for my needs.

However, a concern arose regarding whether I would still be enjoyable in social settings without consuming alcohol. Could I potentially lose friends due to their disinterest in maintaining a friendship with a non-drinker? Similarly, would I no longer desire to spend time with individuals who do consume alcohol? Socializing and dating, particularly within the LGBTQ community, heavily revolve around alcohol consumption. How would I navigate these situations?

There have been occasions in the past where I refrained from drinking for weeks or even months. I do not drink on a daily basis, nor do I engage in heavy drinking every time I consume alcohol. Does this mean I need to completely abstain?

The answers to these questions are: yes, I would still have fun; no, I didn't lose any friends; yes, dating is a challenge regardless of drinking; and finally, yes, I do need to refrain from drinking. If you feel the need to quit drinking, even temporarily, I believe it's worth giving it a try. Within a few weeks of abstaining, I discovered the reasons behind reaching this point.

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How much you drink could have an influence on how your teen drinks, study shows

I didn't consume much alcohol during my teens or early 20s, but my alcohol consumption gradually increased in my late 20s. This could be attributed to work events where complimentary drinks were available, as well as having a higher disposable income to afford more beverages. I enjoyed various types of alcohol, such as wine, cocktails, spirits, and cider, as they helped me relax and improve my mood.

As I entered my 30s amidst the pandemic in 2020, my alcohol intake escalated even further. Since I was able to stay at home, I no longer had the obligation to wake up early for a daily commute to the office. Therefore, the previous concern of drinking more after work was no longer an issue.

Throughout the pandemic, I was fortunate to maintain employment, which allowed my disposable income to stretch even more. By late 2022, my drinking had reached its highest point.

Unbeknownst to me, I had become enamored with the concept of drinking, oblivious to the fact that I had been using alcohol as a form of self-medication during times of stress. It wasn't the quantity of drinks consumed, but rather the escalating alcohol percentage in my glass.

READ MORE: Alcohol: Do you drink too much?

Concerns about the impact on socializing and dating often play a big factor in young people's decisions to give up alcohol.

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A few days after my choice to refrain, it seemed appropriate to notify my friends and family. Some of them were initially taken aback. They believed that I consumed alcohol, but not enough to justify quitting. On the whole, they have been supportive, and as mentioned before, I have not lost any friends. If anything, our relationships have become stronger as now I can be certain that they are not built on alcohol.

Friends laughing in coffee shop

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Need help reducing your alcohol intake or staying sober? Learn how to handle social pressure with these tips.

When a friend, who had quit drinking five years ago, advised me that the initial months would be challenging, I was unsure how to navigate through them. Fortunately, I found solace in indulging myself in video games to occupy my mind. Interestingly, engaging in moderate video game play has been proven to enhance mental well-being, as per studies conducted by the University of Oxford and Australasian Psychiatry.

The struggle hasn't been confined to the initial months alone. Handling birthday parties and weddings can still be intimidating, particularly when I am unfamiliar with most individuals on the guest list. Consuming alcohol used to give me the confidence to confront uncomfortable social situations. However, I have discovered that my level of comfort increases throughout the evening, whether I have alcohol or not.

Sharing with men on a first date the reason why I am not holding a drink has yielded varied reactions. While I cannot be certain, I presume this may be why there haven't been subsequent dates in some cases.

But there have been numerous instances where individuals have either overlooked or failed to recognize that I abstain from alcohol consumption. This realization has prompted me to understand that there is no necessity for me to elucidate or even acknowledge my abstinence. During a particular birthday gathering, a companion gestured towards my glass and inquired, "What are you drinking? A gin and tonic?" Before I could respond, "It's just tonic water," he swiftly scurried off to the bar.

Bartender pouring shots of whiskey into shot glasses

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According to a study, individuals who engage in excessive drinking struggle with their alcohol consumption. The advantages are quite evident. I now possess a greater amount of money to spend, experience improved sleep, and exhibit enhanced concentration at my job. Remarkably, I have successfully navigated various events like birthdays, weddings, dates, and even Pride season, all without consuming any alcohol, a scenario I never could have anticipated a year ago. Additionally, there is a sense of liberation in not having to constantly worry about potentially embarrassing myself through drinking.

Achieving sobriety hasn't addressed all of my challenges. While we often hear about the transformative effects of quitting alcohol, it has also illuminated the additional personal growth I need to undertake.

Stepping away from drinking can feel intimidating, and people frequently ask me how I manage to stay focused. For me, the Sober October initiative and Grace's book have been incredibly impactful as my sole means of maintaining sobriety. The option to tackle this journey publicly or privately has provided some comfort and convenience. It's important to establish realistic rules and goals that align with your individual needs, but it's equally vital not to be overly harsh on yourself if you don't achieve these objectives.

Will I maintain sobriety indefinitely? I am uncertain. I am attempting not to overwhelm myself with expectations. The future remains uncertain, but currently, I am directing my attention towards the positive outcomes that have resulted from prioritizing my well-being. Additionally, I am joyfully commemorating one year of sobriety.

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