Unearthing Freedom: 5 Tips to Escape the Grasp of your To-Do List
Struggling with an overwhelming to-do list? Discover 5 effective tips to conquer it while boosting your mental well-being Work harmoniously with your brain, start with easier tasks, streamline your routines, declutter the junk drawer, and avoid unnecessary life or house rearrangements
Season 8 of the podcast Chasing Life with Dr. Sanjay Gupta returns to the fundamentals, delving deep into the various states of the brain. Each episode will explore a different state such as the distracted brain, the frightened brain, and so on, shedding light on the inner workings of our minds and their impact on our bodies.
(CNN) Are you someone who carries around a to-do list either physically or mentally? You're not alone.
Most people have a never-ending list of daily tasks, from basic personal care to household chores and errands. However, even the simplest task can sometimes feel overwhelming to manage.
Halfpoint Images/Moment RF/Getty Images
You cannot simply request your wife to create a list. Here's how to establish equality as household partners. KC Davis, a licensed therapist and author from Houston, experienced this firsthand at the beginning of the pandemic. During that time, she believed she had a foolproof plan that would enable her to continue working after the birth of her second child.
"Sadly, three weeks postpartum, the daycare informed me that a lockdown had been initiated. With that, my plans vanished. The mounting care responsibilities soon took a toll on my mental health, leading to depression."
Davis shared with CNN Chief Medical Correspondent Dr. Sanjay Gupta on his podcast, Chasing Life, "Taking care of both babies' needs at once was a real struggle. Suddenly, the dishes and laundry started piling up. I've always been a bit messy, but it was always manageable. However, for the first time in my life, it really wasn't functional."
At the start of the pandemic, Davis, like many others, found solace in TikTok. She candidly shared her hardships and her changing strategies for coping, garnering a dedicated following. This led to the release of her book, "How to Keep House While Drowning: A Gentle Approach to Cleaning and Organizing."
According to Davis, household tasks may seem straightforward, but they actually entail numerous intricate steps that demand strong executive functioning abilities.
"Executive functioning skills take place in your prefrontal cortex," explained Davis. "It's the region of your brain responsible for time management, task initiation, and breaking down tasks into steps. When all these functions are working efficiently, it feels automatic. You simply make the decision to do the dishes and then complete the task."
AJ Willingham sits in her home office.
Brook Joyner/CNN
What its like to work with ADHD
But sometimes its not automatic.
"Some individuals experience disorders that interfere with their executive functions," she explained. "Whether it's depression, anxiety, or ADHD ⦠but even without a formal diagnosis, there are various factors that can impact your executive functioning: lack of sleep, chronic stress, and burnout."
Additionally, life situations like caring for an ill parent or facing a demanding workload can also diminish a person's ability to function at an executive level.
Feeling overwhelmed and paralyzed when faced with obstacles can make it difficult to complete tasks. This in turn can lead to an even greater sense of being overwhelmed as tasks continue to pile up. As time goes on, these feelings of inadequacy can become even more debilitating.
It's crucial to recognize that struggling to complete care tasks is not a reflection of one's moral character, according to Davis.
"I want people to understand that tasks such as cooking, cleaning, doing the dishes, feeding yourself, and taking a shower are morally neutral. In other words, finding these tasks difficult doesn't reflect on your goodness, badness, rightness, wrongness, success, or failure," she explained.
"It's rarely about not trying hard enough. It usually involves legitimate barriers, a struggle to find the right coping skills, a struggle to get the right guidance, and ultimately a struggle to overcome self-loathing in order to find a way forward."
Rafa Elias/Moment RF/Getty Images
Intrusive thoughts are a commonly misunderstood mental health term, as explained by experts. In addition to this, feelings of self-hate, guilt, anxiety, and shame can make it difficult to break out of this cycle. These emotions can hijack important brain resources, leading to dwelling on self-flagellation instead of focusing on the current task.
She emphasized that no one has improved their mental health by being hard on themselves, and everyone deserves practical solutions tailored to their current capabilities. So, what are these solutions? Davis offers these five tips:
Work with your brain, not against it
Find a solution that makes sense for you. For example, going all-out Marie Kondo overnight might not be feasibleit wasnt for Davis.
"I came to the realization that I am a messy person with ADHD and responsibilities like two kids, a dog, and a cat. I can't depend on waking up a different person with a different personality, skill set, energy level, and time needs. I need to be able to organize and clean as a messy person. I need skills that complement my brain instead of working against it."
Stock up on laundry baskets and waste baskets for every room in your house, suggested Davis. This simple tip ensures that you are always within easy reach of a place to store items that need to be thrown away or put away.
Simplify your routines
Stick to the bare minimum and dont make things overly complicated.
"Another helpful tip is to eliminate unnecessary steps in your care routines," advised Davis. "For instance, if you don't feel like folding all your clothes, you don't have to. Hang up the ones that you don't want to be wrinkled and simply toss the rest into organized baskets. The same can be done with dishes – if you don't want to rinse or scrub them, just run the dishwasher twice. It's perfectly fine." Time for a decluttering of the junk drawer.
A big challenge for many is finding a home for everything and then putting everything in its place. For that, Davis has an elegant solution.
Girl sitting on a wall and having a tough time
BenAkiba/E+/Getty Images
Don't let seasonal affective disorder bring you down. Here are 6 ways to beat the winter blues.
Davis suggests using a clear shoe holder to organize odds and ends. Hang it on the back of a closet door to easily see and access all your small belongings like hair ties and glue sticks, instead of letting them get lost in a cluttered junk drawer.
Dont rearrange your life or house
Observe your living space and your familys behaviorand do what comes naturally.
"I'm a huge fan of baskets and I believe that you don't need a lot of fancy supplies. Just look at where your things naturally end up and place a basket there," Davis recommended. "If you always take off your shoes by the front door, instead of trying to change your behavior and go to the closet, just put a basket by the front door and voila! You're organized! As long as your things are where you want them to be, you're organized."
We hope these five tips help you feel more organized and less overwhelmed. Listen to the complete episode here. And join us next week on the Chasing Life podcast as we explore, just in time for the holidays, what happens in your brain when you forgive.
CNN Audios Grace Walker contributed to this report.
