Uncharted depths of endurance: A firsthand account of life in Gaza through a lawyer's perspective

Editor's Note: Fatma Ashour, a Palestinian lawyer and human rights activist, has recently moved from Gaza City to Khan Younis. In this translated opinion piece, Ashour shares her experiences of living without water, electricity, and fuel for over a month and 10 days. The views expressed in this commentary are solely Ashour's. For more opinions, visit CNN.

Life feels almost tragic as we can only afford to take a shower once every two weeks, if luck permits.

As women, we have had to make the difficult decision of cutting our hair due to the scarcity of water. Time is also a constraint, forcing us to rush through our showers out of fear of sudden bombardments or interruptions. The constant worry of water being cut off adds to our apprehension.

We wash our clothes with our hands. And that is more than exhausting.

On 9/1/10, following separate bilateral meetings with President Mahmoud Abbas of the Palestinian Authority, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu of Israel, King Abdullah II of Jordan, and President Hosni Mubarak of Egypt, President Barack Obama addressed the press in the East Room at The White House in Washington DC. The leaders later proceeded to have a working dinner, during which Abbas and Netanyahu engaged in conversation.

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Initially, the water temperature during the war was quite tolerable, allowing for swift drying of laundry. However, the situation has changed with the arrival of winter. Now, it takes a considerable amount of time for the laundry to dry. Additionally, the hand-squeezing method is not effective enough, contributing to the problem. Moreover, the freezing cold water cannot be heated, leading to illnesses among both adults and children.

At the house where I am currently residing, there are a total of 28 individuals, consisting of eight children and three elderly individuals. Our main focus and priority lies with these 11 individuals, as we ensure they receive breakfast. In the event that bread is unavailable, they are offered a biscuit or any other available alternative. If we happen to come across dates, each person is given one. However, if these options are not available, we resort to using powdered milk to make them a cup of tea. This is the current situation we find ourselves in. As for the adults, we must endure and only have lunch as our meal of the day.

Lunch options include mejaddarah (lentils) or pasta, which are the only two choices we have. Occasionally, during the best of times, we might find potatoes and cook them with tomato sauce and rice. We have grown weary of this monotonous and dry food. It has been an entire month since I last had milk or an egg. Not a single apple or cheese has crossed my plate; our options are extremely limited.

Our days pass in a dreadful manner, with miserably limited resources. We bear much more than any ordinary person can handle. The perpetual presence of the surveillance drone's relentless hum is a constant backdrop to our lives, never ceasing, always hovering above.

Five families living in an apartment with Fatma Ashour collect items like old coffee cups and cardboard to fuel fire for cooking in Khan Younis, southern Gaza.

Fatma Ashour

All my friends and family have either lost their homes entirely or suffered such significant damage that they can no longer inhabit them. Currently, we are all crowded together in the southern region of the Gaza Strip, which includes Central Gaza, Khan Younis, and Rafah. This area accounts for less than half of the entire strip, which spans a total of 365 square kilometers (140 square miles).

It is important to note that more than 1.5 million people have been displaced within an area that measures no more than 175 square kilometers (67 square miles).

With a scarcity of resources, a vast number of people have unfortunately resorted to battling for bread and water. Devoid of any means, our society has transformed into a stage where individuals harm each other.

Fatma Ashour

This is a catastrophe.

There are five more families displaced here, with some of them having walked all the way from north Gaza to the south. This journey covers a considerable distance. Despite the Israelis assuring us of safety in the south, it has become evident that it is not the case. A neighboring house, merely 20 to 30 meters away, was subjected to bombing.

There is a conflict in the southern region regarding the availability of resources. There is a severe shortage of water, fuel, and electricity, resulting in the absence of bread and the inability to bake flour. The scarcity extends to food in general, and even salt is currently unavailable.

Supermarket shelves in Gaza have been stripped of all products as Israel continues to limit the delivery of food to the enclave.

Fatma Ashour

We can't even fathom what our future holds post-war. If, by some miracle, we survive, what lies ahead? Where will we find shelter? What fate awaits us in the hands of others? Will they grant us permission to return to northern Gaza, or will they forcefully evict us? Alternatively, will they allow us to remain where we currently reside?

The mere thought of what lies beyond the war is utterly draining. The intricacies of the ongoing conflict take a tremendous toll. Each day's activities consume us completely.

A few days ago, I ventured outside in search of winter attire, only to come up empty-handed. The prices of clothing were exorbitant and the selection was sparse. The streets were teeming with people and piles of trash. Due to the scarcity of fuel, car owners were resorting to using cooking oil, resulting in pollution and causing unbearable headaches. The entire atmosphere was tainted by pollution.

In such trying times, we strive to find solace in each other and lend a helping hand amidst the tough circumstances. We make an effort to maintain our wellbeing as there are no hospitals readily available in case of illness.

Fatma Ashours old apartment block in Gaza City was damaged by Israeli airstrikes so she fled south.

Several individuals with us are facing financial difficulties. We provide assistance to the best of our abilities. Occasionally, someone breaks down in tears due to the loss of a family member or the destruction of their home. The situation is incredibly distressing.

I'm uncertain how much longer we can continue in this manner. The outcome for us is unknown. I strongly desire to have a restful night's sleep in a comfortable bed. I yearn to wake up and discover sustenance. I long for a proper bath, to thoroughly cleanse my hair, and launder my clothes using a washing machine. Can you fathom the simplest privileges of freely accessing a toilet and finding water? Regrettably, these basic necessities are non-existent. The current state of affairs is utterly catastrophic.

We are being intentionally deprived of resources, with the perpetrators showing no regard for our well-being. They believe themselves to be immune to the law and carry out collective punishment, which closely resembles an act of genocide.

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When people are deprived of food, water, and electricity for over a month and 10 days, and access to fuel is deliberately blocked, it can be categorized as a form of collective punishment.

My perspective on the significance of upholding the rule of law, ensuring accountability, and granting equal rights to individuals remains unwavering, even in times of war. This is the subject I have extensively studied and continue to impart to others.

We refuse to surrender.

We refuse to acknowledge that the current state of affairs is acceptable. We will persist in asserting our rights and advocating for them. We will seek recourse through international tribunals. We will pursue our objectives through peaceful methods, as permitted by international legal provisions.

This is our right, to live in peace, to find drinking water, food and medicine. This is our right, and the right of every human being on the face of the Earth.