It has been close to 20 years since my relocation from New York to London. However, even after all this time, I am still discovering the true essence of being British. One would assume that the transition from one English-speaking nation to another would be relatively simple. In numerous aspects, it was, all thanks to the immense generosity of the British people who warmly embraced me.
However, there are numerous disparities between the United States and the United Kingdom that I deeply regret not being aware of prior to traveling across the Atlantic Ocean. Whether you are contemplating a permanent relocation to the UK or simply planning a visit, I have compiled a list of invaluable suggestions to assist you in assimilating with the locals and fully immersing yourself in the English culture.
US vs. UK English
Leicester Square -- easier to find than to pronounce, for some people.
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Despite the shared language, it is important to recognize that speaking English in both countries does not imply a common understanding. Innocent variances, such as unfamiliarity with the meaning of "boot" as the trunk of a car or mispronouncing "Leicester" as "Less-ter", are harmless peculiarities. However, it is the inappropriate language that carries the potential for trouble.
This valuable lesson was personally learned through a challenging experience at the pub. On my first visit, someone unintentionally spilled wine all over my pristine white attire. Reactively, I sprang up and exclaimed, "Ohhh! My pants are completely soaked!"
Everyone within earshot burst out into hysterical laughter. I was so upset. Why was everyone being so mean when they could see my clothes were ruined?
Kim Davis
Courtesy Kim Davis
Someone then clarified that in the UK, the term "trousers" refers to the clothing worn over the legs, while "pants" refers to underwear. Thus, when I excitedly declared that my pants were wet, I unintentionally revealed something highly inappropriate to everyone in the pub. With a sudden wave of embarrassment, I wished I could hide under the table.
Of course, now I understand the joke and can reflect on it with laughter. However, it seems that there is an abundance of words that have different meanings in the United States compared to the United Kingdom. I won't delve into them here to prevent you from being shocked. I will merely highlight that navigating the English language can be tricky due to our cultural differences.
So, make sure to do yourself a favor and search the web for "the discrepancies between British and American English" prior to your arrival, so as to avoid experiencing the same humiliating fate that befell me.
Get down to the pub
London pubs: Less dingy, fewer fights.
When it comes to pubs in New York, my mind immediately conjures up images of dimly lit establishments where conflicts are always on the verge of breaking out. Being a non-drinker, I decided to steer clear of pubs upon my initial relocation to the UK, but after receiving countless invitations, I finally succumbed.
Much to my astonishment, I found that British pubs exceeded my expectations entirely! Rather than being just ordinary establishments, they serve as vibrant social centers. You can gather with friends, indulge in board games, peruse newspapers, work from a distance, savor delectable meals, relish live music, and even engage in entertaining events such as pub quizzes.
Choose the perfect pub and enjoy the option to relax outdoors in the garden during the summer months. During winter, cozy up next to the fire on a luxurious leather Chesterfield couch, creating the illusion of being in the comfort of your own living room.
The individual, aged 23, resided in the Tower of London for a period of three years.
The pub closest to your residence is commonly referred to as your local, and once the staff becomes familiar with you, it can feel like being part of a small pub community.
While most pubs offer simple food known as pub grub, there are other establishments called gastropubs that provide exceptionally high-quality cuisine.
The Sunday Roast, a cherished UK tradition, surpasses all other dishes in my opinion. It is exclusively served on Sundays and offers a choice of succulent roasted chicken, beef, or pork, accompanied by roasted potatoes, vegetables, and a delectable Yorkshire pudding—a delightful, bread-like delicacy molded into a bowl shape. To enhance the flavors, everything is generously coated in rich gravy. Simply scrumptious!
If youre coming to London, make sure you make your way to a nice gastropub. Its an authentic British experience that is nothing like what we have back home, so dont miss out.
Master the art of great conversation
Conversations: No one cares about your gym routines.
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Im often asked, "Whats the biggest difference between the US and the UK?," and I always reply, "The conversation."
While in New York, my conversations with friends would often revolve around topics such as weight loss, gym routines, relationships, and work.
Upon relocating to the UK, it took me more than a year to realize that these subjects held little interest or significance for my British acquaintances. Surprisingly, whenever I broached such topics, my UK friends would politely steer the conversation elsewhere. This led me to wonder: what prompted this different approach?
When I ceased speaking and began to listen, I realized that individuals in Britain engage in discussions about a vast array of topics, ranging from weather to profoundly personal narratives. They even delve into subjects that are typically considered taboo, including global events, news, politics, and religion.
However, what truly captivates me is their remarkable aptitude for establishing connections with one another in a wholly unique manner. They freely express their thoughts and engage in thought-provoking conversations, all without raising their voices or engaging in conflict – unless, of course, they delve into the realm of soccer (commonly referred to as "football" in the UK), where all rules seem to be thrown out the window.
So, next time youre in London, try to go outside your conversational comfort zone!
Look out for British humor
According to my friends from back home, I've developed a stronger sense of humor ever since relocating to the UK. Whether this implies that I am genuinely funny now or simply no longer resorting to cheesy dad jokes remains uncertain. Nevertheless, I happily accept the compliment.
What changed? Well, after enduring years of good-natured teasing from my British friends, I've become well-versed in the art of irony and sarcasm. Now, let's talk about the extravagant $1,600-per-night hotel that took three decades to complete.
In the United States, our preferred style of humor tends to be slapstick, characterized by its exaggerated and direct nature. However, the British possess a distinctively subtle, self-deprecating, and dry sense of humor.
If one fails to pay close attention, this humor may easily go unnoticed. Personally, it took me several years to fully grasp and appreciate it (and I am still continuing to learn). It often reminded me of Sheldon Cooper from the television show "The Big Bang Theory," as I frequently found myself questioning, "Was that sarcasm?" Indeed, it was.
Don't be deceived by their charming accents. The British possess a mischievous sense of humor which they employ to playfully tease not just you, but also themselves and others.
If you desire to participate, don't hesitate to engage in lighthearted mockery and laugh at your own expense. It not only reveals a touch of humility, but ironically, it serves as an excellent method to boost your self-assurance.
Let the chocolate change your life
Chocolate tastes better the further across the Atlantic you get from the US.
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If you're American, chances are you were raised to believe that Hershey and Mars reign supreme in the realm of delectable chocolate. However, once you relocate or visit the UK and Europe and savor a taste of Cadbury or Charbonnel et Walker, the shocking truth dawns upon you - your entire existence thus far has been built upon a monumental falsehood.
It is impossible to adequately convey the unrivaled silkiness, velvety smoothness, and sheer deliciousness of the chocolate on this side of the Atlantic.
British chocolate, including popular brands like KitKats and M&Ms, is known for its superior taste. This is attributed to the strict regulations in the UK, which mandate the use of minimal oil and preservatives, and emphasize the use of natural ingredients such as milk and cocoa. Regardless of the specific reason behind this taste, it is strongly recommended to pack a half-empty suitcase and forget about any dietary restrictions when visiting Britain. Once you experience the delightful flavors of British and European chocolate, your perspective on life will be forever transformed.
Restaurant etiquette
For fork's sake! Cutlery skills are different in the UK.
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I have always been a fan of the movie musical "My Fair Lady," which tells the story of Eliza Doolittle, a girl from London who undergoes a remarkable transformation into a sophisticated high-society lady.
Unbeknownst to me, I would experience numerous situations similar to Eliza Doolittle's journey, particularly when dining at upscale establishments with my colleagues in the business world.
In my 20s, I had an intense desire to make a good impression on my boss. However, I noticed that whenever we dined out, I would receive peculiar gazes from those around us. This wasn't limited to just colleagues, but rather a widespread occurrence regardless of where I ate.
Initially, I struggled to understand why this was happening. It wasn't until I came to the realization that my eating habits were the culprit.
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While everyone else, including children, adhered to the traditional etiquette of holding the fork with their left hand and the knife with their right hand, I had a unique approach. I meticulously sliced my food into bite-sized portions, temporarily setting aside the knife, and utilized my fork with dexterity akin to that of an excavator, swiftly transporting delectable morsels into my eager mouth.
My dining style, as it turns out, is quite commonplace in the States but considered both improper and confusing elsewhere in the world. I could easily relate to Ariel from "The Little Mermaid" when she used a fork as a hairbrush. Rest assured, though, nobody will be unkind or judge you for your eating habits; they will simply be utterly perplexed by your utensil usage.
It's entirely up to your personal preference on how you choose to utilize your fork and knife. However, if you're similar to me, you might consider watching a brief YouTube tutorial to explore all the possible techniques available to you.
Let the Brit win
There will be extensive debates on whether to include the additional "u" in words like favorite or whether tin foil is pronounced as "aluminum" or "aluminium."
I erroneously attempted to argue in favor of the American variations of all these concepts.
Dont wear all black
At the conclusion of the day, you shall inevitably be defeated in these discussions. The English language was introduced to America by the British, and their spelling and pronunciation are considered authoritative. Any form of resistance is ultimately futile.
Dressing in all black doesn't seem to be the way to go in London.
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New York fashion is all black. We love it! Its elegant, its timeless, its slimming, its easy to coordinate, its perfection!
Upon bringing my black wardrobe to London, I had anticipated impressing everyone with my refined sense of style. However, to my dismay, I found myself repeatedly questioned with the phrase, "Are you going to a funeral?" on a daily basis. (Sigh)
Consequently, I swiftly grasped the necessity of brightening up my wardrobe. Thus, I embarked on a fashionable transformation, introducing vibrant ensembles to my collection. Nowadays, my black dresses are reserved solely for occasions in the states, while my European ventures showcase my edgy London-inspired looks.
Yeah?
All languages employ filler words to confirm the listener's engagement. In the United States, commonly used phrases include "You know what I mean?" or "You know?". In the United Kingdom, people often say "Yeah?" to elicit agreement or understanding.
Upon joining our UK office, I was oblivious to the phrase "Yeah?"
Within the workspace, a senior manager consistently ended each sentence with "yeah?" At the time, I mistakenly interpreted his query as a check for my comprehension, resulting in my enthusiastic responses of "Yeah!"
He believed that I considered myself stupid, leading to my increasingly assured responses such as "Yeah!", "Yes!", and "I got it!". However, he persistently repeated the same statement, transforming the interaction into a reminiscent scene from the Abbott and Costello's "Who's on first" sketch or a chaotic game of verbal ping-pong. The exchange went on like this: "Yeah?" "Yeah!!!!!!" "Yeah?" "YES!!!!"
Eventually, I figured it all out, but I sure wish someone had let me in on this little idiosyncrasy. You know what I mean?
Make time for tea
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It's always time for tea in London.
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While New Yorkers are partial to coffee, Londoners definitely prefer tea. Its the cornerstone to all life in the UK.
The UK Tea and Infusions Association reports that the British consume a staggering number of cups of tea - over 100 million cups every day and 36 billion cups annually! This figure is truly remarkable considering the country's population is only 67 million.
Tea is often regarded as the ultimate solution to various predicaments. Feeling unwell in the stomach? A cup of tea can do wonders. Dealing with a breakup? Turn to tea for comfort. Need a mid-afternoon break? It's time to put the kettle on and enjoy a soothing cup of tea.
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Naturally, they do not say "cup of tea" here; instead, they commonly refer to it as a "cuppa". The initial time someone asked me, "Would you fancy a cuppa?" I must have appeared utterly surprised.
Since discovering that there are multiple varieties of tea, I have put together a concise guide to the essentials. English Breakfast tea is a type of black tea, while Darjeeling, Assam, and Ceylon teas vary in their strength as black teas. If you prefer a robust cup of tea, "Builders Tea" is essentially a strong English Breakfast blend.
For those seeking more sophisticated options or looking to gift tea, I highly recommend Harrods or Fortnum and Mason (referred to as The Kings grocer), both of which offer extensive selections and knowledgeable experts to help you find the perfect blend to suit your taste buds. Interestingly, iced tea is not commonly consumed in this part of the world.
And whatever you do, for the love of goodness, DO NOT MENTION LIPTON TEA! Youll be banished and sent back to America immediately!