The Ultimate Gift for Your Loved Ones this Holiday Season? Your Undivided Presence

During the busy holiday season, it's important to remember to slow down and be present with your family and friends, rather than just focusing on checking items off your to-do list.

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In addition to giving material gifts, offering your mindful attention can improve relationships by making your loved ones feel seen, heard, and valued.

Think about the beloved Apple TV+ character Ted Lasso, who tackles every interaction with a genuine interest in the people he meets. Even if you haven't watched the show, you've probably experienced kind-hearted individuals in your own life who have the remarkable ability to make you feel special. Their presence and the time you spend with them truly feel like blessings.

Certainly, not everyone has the inclination or intention to be the Ted Lasso of their next holiday get-together or family reunion. In reality, being fully present and attentive is a challenge for most individuals.

Amid countless distractions and a growing sense of anxiety in our culture, it's common to feel unfocused and disconnected. When your mind is constantly torn between past and future concerns, you miss out on meaningful moments and connections.

Dr. Nathan Brown, a clinical psychologist in Bellingham, Washington, with nearly 40 years of experience in brain function and focus issues, assures us that our attention can be developed like a muscle with practice, despite the limited opportunities in our culture.

Are you ready to discover evidence-based techniques to enhance your attention "muscle" and fully savor every moment of the holiday season? How's your focus at this moment?

To assess your ability to focus on the present moment, you can utilize the Mindful Attention Awareness Scale (MAAS). This widely recognized tool was created by clinical psychologist Richard Ryan and quantitative psychologist Kirk Brown. Ryan, a psychology professor emeritus at the University of Rochester, collaborated with Brown, a faculty member in the psychology department at Carnegie Mellon University.

Smiling multiracial female friends having fun at picnic in the park - group of healthy friends having a picnic

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New research indicates that having strong, stable friendships can contribute to better physical health. In the study, participants completed a 15-question survey that measured their level of presence and awareness in daily activities. Scoring higher on the survey was linked to better attention, while a lower score indicated potential for improvement.

Once youve worked on building your attention with the strategies below, you can redo the questionnaire and see how your efforts are reflected in the score.

Exercises to build your attention muscle

Here are four methods to improve your focus while doing any type of exercise:

Discover the power of mindfulness

Research has shown that mindfulness meditation offers numerous benefits, such as enhanced attention. Whether you're new to meditation or feel short on time, incorporating short, regular sessions can still be beneficial for you.

Ten minutes per day of focused meditation over eight weeks showed marked improvement in attention span, a study found.

In a study conducted in February 2020, participants who had never meditated before experienced significant improvements in attentional performance and corresponding brain changes after just 10 minutes of focused attention meditation per day over the course of eight weeks. These changes were observed on an electroencephalogram (EEG), which measures the brain's electrical activity.

Pay attention to your breath

Your breath occurs in the present moment, making it a perfect tool for staying grounded. As a mind-body coach, I frequently utilize breathing techniques to help clients reconnect with the present moment. There are many beneficial deep breathing exercises to try, but you can begin by simply focusing on your breath as it enters and leaves your body.

Listen to your body

Yoga and tai chi help you focus on intentional movement and the sensations in your body. Another accessible technique is progressive muscle relaxation, where you concentrate on one area of your body at a time, contracting and relaxing your muscles.

Engage your senses

Everyday moments provide countless chances to cultivate mindfulness. Whether you're taking a shower, doing the laundry, or stuck in traffic, take the time to truly engage with your surroundings. What can you see, feel, hear, smell, and even taste in these ordinary moments?

Sharing your presence during the holidays can be a challenge, especially during holiday parties and family gatherings. The unstructured nature of these situations can be anxiety-inducing, with worries about conversations turning political or negative. Brown suggests a simple strategy for navigating these experiences: Ask others questions about themselves.

Giving someone you care about your full attention can help you appreciate on a deeper level the time you're able to spend together.

Approach conversations with the mindset of an anthropologist - seek to discover and learn about the people you are speaking with. By doing so, you will feel more confident and in control, leading to a calmer and more focused conversation.

In order to cultivate stronger relationships, Brown recommended employing a motivational interviewing approach that centers on asking individuals "why" and "how" questions to delve into the reasons behind their behaviors and passions. For example, you could inquire about someone's career choice, place of residence, or hobbies. "This method of questioning enables you to dig a little deeper," he explained.

Additionally, he advised keeping your phone out of view when interacting with others to prevent splitting your attention and signaling to those nearby that you are not fully engaged.

Brown suggests that it's natural for your mind to wander, so be kind to yourself as you work to bring yourself back to the present moment. Research has demonstrated that being present not only benefits those around you, but also improves your own mental health.

Courtesy Dana Santas

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When feeling overwhelmed or stressed, take a brief breathing break to regain focus and calm anxiety. Embrace the holiday season and delight in every experience it has to offer. Engage your senses by savoring seasonal treats and paying attention to the tastes, scents, and textures. Listen to holiday music with mindfulness, focusing on each word, instrument, and note.

Give your life the attention it deserves in each moment, shaping your experience and perspective. Being fully present allows you to recognize that your attention is a valuable gift to yourself and others. Subscribe to CNN's Stress, But Less newsletter for a six-part mindfulness guide that will help you reduce and harness stress.