The Science-Backed Secret to Forming Lasting Habits in Just 5 Simple Steps

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Many of us believe that individuals who effortlessly manage to incorporate exercise, maintain a healthy diet, excel in exams, and punctually attend to their children possess extraordinary self-control. However, scientific evidence suggests otherwise: what we perceive as willpower frequently stems from ingrained habits.

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Individuals who have developed positive habits rarely find themselves in situations where they have to resist the temptation of lounging on the couch, indulging in unhealthy takeout, delaying tasks, or watching another viral video just before leaving the house. This is because their autopilot mode kicks in, removing temptation from the equation. By firmly establishing good habits, one can make wise choices without exerting much willpower.

Sounds fantastic, doesn't it? However, there is a slight catch - developing positive habits requires dedication and understanding. Luckily, scientific research provides valuable advice on how to get started and techniques to make the process easier. Here are a few evidence-based steps, extracted from my book, "How to Change," that can guide you from your current position to your desired destination.

1. Set a specific goal

The way you define your desired habit goal is crucial. Research has revealed that goals like "meditate regularly" are too vague. It is more beneficial to specify exactly what you intend to do and the frequency.

Instead of saying "I'll meditate regularly," say "I'll meditate for 15 minutes every day."

Having a bite-size objective makes it less daunting to get started and easier to see your progress.

2. Create a detailed, cue-based plan

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Once you have set a specific goal, it is important to consider what will prompt you to follow through. Scientific studies have shown that you are more likely to make progress towards your goal if you not only decide what you will do, but also when and where you will do it, as well as how you will get there.

A plan such as "I will study Spanish for 30 minutes, five days a week" is acceptable. However, a more detailed plan that incorporates cues, such as "Every workday after my last meeting, I will spend 30 minutes studying Spanish in my office," is much more likely to become a ingrained habit.

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3. Make it fun to repeat

Many of us start building a new habit by underestimating our willpower and taking the most efficient route to achieve our end goal. For example, if we want to get fit, we often choose intense workouts like treadmill sessions for quick results. However, research suggests that we can achieve better and more lasting results by focusing on making the pursuit of our goals enjoyable.

When it comes to exercise, this could mean attending Zumba classes with a friend or trying out rock climbing. Similarly, if our goal is to eat more fruits and vegetables, we could substitute our doughnut breakfasts with tasty smoothies, which can provide multiple servings of fruits and veggies in one delicious drink. It is crucial to make the experience positive, as we are more likely to maintain a habit that we enjoy. Unfortunately, this aspect is often overlooked.

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Ways to find enjoyment in exercising, even if you dislike physical activity, can be achieved through a technique called "temptation bundling." This involves allowing yourself to indulge in a desired pleasure only while actively working towards your fitness goals. For instance, reserve binge-watching your favorite show exclusively for the time spent at the gym or listen to a beloved podcast while preparing nutritious meals. Studies have shown that temptation bundling increases commitment, turning the pursuit of goals into a pleasurable experience rather than a daunting one.

4. Foster flexibility

When we become accustomed to a particular behavior, many of us develop regular patterns, such as exercising, studying, or taking medication at specific times and in specific locations. However, during the initial stages of habit formation, it is actually beneficial to intentionally introduce some level of variation into our routines, contrary to what is commonly believed based on my research findings.

In order to establish a mindfulness habit, it is advisable to have a primary plan, such as a meditation session at 8 a.m. However, it is also important to explore alternative methods. Consider incorporating a meditation session at noon, as well as one at 5 p.m.

The key to successful habit formation is regularly engaging in the desired behavior. If your routine becomes too rigid, you may find it difficult to consistently follow through. It is important to have a flexible approach, allowing you to adapt and continue your mindfulness practice even when unexpected obstacles arise. For example, if you encounter a traffic jam while taking your kids to school, preventing you from completing your morning meditation, a flexible mindset will enable you to find an alternative solution.

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An effective method to increase flexibility is by creating "emergency reserves." These reserves consist of a small number of get-out-of-jail-free cards that can be used on days when it's simply impossible to find time for a 10-minute meditation, regular jog, or Spanish practice.

5. Find the right kind of social support

According to research, setting a challenging goal for oneself, such as meditating every day, is more motivating than opting for an easier goal. However, repeatedly failing to achieve smaller milestones along the way can be disheartening. By creating a buffer of spare days each week, you allow yourself the flexibility to miss a day in case of a genuine emergency without feeling discouraged and giving up on your overall objective.

This step may seem obvious, but it is often disregarded. It is important to actively seek social support. Social support goes beyond having cheerleaders and individuals who keep you accountable, although both can be beneficial. Therefore, I recommend informing your friends and family about your objectives.

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According to evidence, our behaviors are strongly influenced by those around us. If you want to start running regularly, it's more effective to join a well-established running club rather than asking friends who aren't in the habit of jogging to get in shape with you. Members of the running club have already developed the habits you desire. You can learn from them about effective strategies and also make friends who will motivate you when you feel lazy.

Good habits are contagious, so it's beneficial to spend time with people who are slightly ahead of you in terms of learning. However, it's important not to overdo it. If you try to train with marathon runners when your goal is to work up to a 5K, it can be discouraging.

Research conducted by myself and others indicates that connecting with like-minded individuals and emulating those who have achieved similar goals can greatly impact your success. Additionally, pursuing your aspirations alongside enjoyable companions can enhance the overall experience.

It is important to remember that forming habits requires time and effort. They do not develop overnight, and the notion of a specific "magic number" of days to establish a habit has been debunked in recent research conducted with my colleagues. Each individual forms habits at their own pace, although simpler and frequently repeated actions, such as hand sanitizing, tend to become habitual more quickly compared to complex behaviors like consistently going to the gym. Typically, it may take months rather than weeks to fully integrate the latter into one's routine.

Katy Milkman, an acclaimed behavioral scientist, holds the prestigious position of James G. Dinan professor at the renowned Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania. She is also the esteemed author of "How to Change: The Science of Getting from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be." Moreover, Katy is a co-founder of the Behavior Change for Good Initiative and serves as the host for Charles Schwab's esteemed podcast, "Choiceology."