The Love Story of Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka: A Timeline

Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka have a lasting love that has defied Hollywood expectations. The actors first met while they were both performing on Broadway, with Harris in Cabaret and Burtka in Gypsy. At that time, Burtka was in a different relationship and would frequently travel to Los Angeles to visit his then-boyfriend.

Harris shared with Out in 2012 that he didn't want to be the one causing any romantic problems. He made sure to always be around when his now-husband, Burtka, was nearby, hoping for a chance. Their first meeting was at an American Idol viewing party that Kate, a mutual friend, invited Harris to. Harris found himself stumbling over his words and couldn't stop looking at Burtka.

The couple started dating in 2004, and two years later, Harris publicly came out as gay. In October 2010, they welcomed fraternal twins, Gideon Scott and Harper Grace, through a surrogate. In 2014, with only 45 guests present, Harris and Burtka got married in a secret ceremony.

Scroll down to see Harris and Burtka’s relationship timeline:

Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka: Relationship Timeline

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Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka's Relationship Timeline

Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka have shown that true love can endure, even in the unpredictable world of Hollywood. Their marriage has stood the test of time, defying the odds.

The couple first crossed paths while working in Broadway productions - Harris in Cabaret and Burtka in Gypsy. At that time, Burtka was in a different relationship and regularly traveled to Los Angeles to be with his then-partner.

Harris shared with Out in 2012 that he didn't want to be the one causing any romantic issues. He always made sure to be around when his now-husband was, hoping for a chance to connect. Their first meeting happened at an American Idol viewing party, where Harris felt nervous and couldn't stop looking at him.

In 2004, the couple started dating and two years later, Harris publicly came out as gay. Their family grew in October 2010 when they welcomed twins Gideon Scott and Harper Grace through a surrogate. The couple got married in 2014 in a private ceremony with only 45 guests present.

Scroll down to see Harris and Burtka's relationship timeline:

Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka

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April 2004

The couple went on their first date just a week after Burtka had gone through a breakup. Harris confessed that he had expressed his love before his partner was ready to say it back.

"I fell for David before he fell for me," the Doctor Who guest star shared with Out in 2012. "I was in love with him even before he was ready to reciprocate, and I believe this reflects our past experiences. I remember telling him, 'I think I love you,' and he responded with, 'That's really nice,' which wasn't exactly the response I was hoping for. However, I appreciated his honesty in not rushing to say something just to please me."

Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka

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Early 2005

Burtka moved back to LA with Harris after he landed How I Met Your Mother. 

Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka

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November 2006

The It's a Sin actor publicly came out as gay.

In 2021, Harris discussed the personal journey of revealing one's sexuality. He emphasized that coming out is a unique experience for each individual, with many factors and complexities involved. According to Harris, nobody has the right to control or judge this process. Making decisions about coming out involves deep reflection and can take a significant amount of time.

Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka

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September 2007

The couple made their first red carpet appearance at the Emmys.

Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka with twins Harper and Gideon

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October 2010

Twins Gideon and Harper were born via surrogate. 

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June 2011

Harris announced his engagement after the state of New York legalized same sex marriage. However, he said the proposals happened years prior.

Burtka proposed to Harris in 2007 at the street corner where they first met. Harris then proposed to Burtka in 2008 during their Valentine's Day celebration in Santa Monica. They have been engaged for over five years now, wearing their engagement rings and waiting for a suitable date to tie the knot.

Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka

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July 2013

Harris and Burtka took Harper and Gideon to their first family red carpet event for the premiere of The Smurfs 2. 

Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka

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May 2014

The men made their Met Gala debut ahead of their wedding.

Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka

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September 2014

After wrapping nine seasons of How I Met Your Mother and moving back to New York City, Harris went to Italy to finally marry his longtime love.

Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka: Relationship Timeline

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June 2016

After moving into their Harlem townhouse, Harris hosted the Tonys for the third time in 2016. In an interview with Architechural Digest in December of the same year, the star shared, "I thought [How I Met Your Mother] would be a brief period in my life. However, the intention was always to return to New York after the show ended to raise our family."

Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka: Relationship Timeline

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October 2018

The pair share a love for Halloween, typically going all out every year. In 2018, they attended Heidi Klum's annual party as Wesley and Inigo Montoya from the movie The Princess Bride. 

Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka: Relationship Timeline

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April 2019

Fifteen years ago today, the actor from A Series of Unfortunate Events, shared a sweet message on Instagram about his first date with David. They have been nearly inseparable ever since. The actor expressed his gratitude towards David for giving him his heart, shoulder, strength, lust, laughter, joy, and more.

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October 2021

The two were spotted tearing up the dance floor at the Drag Brunch Food & Wine Festival in New York City.

Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka with son Gideon

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March 2022

The dads had a boys day out with son Gideon at the grand opening of RiseNY in New York City.

NPH and Husband David Burtka

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April 2022

Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka celebrated their 18th anniversary by attending the City Harvest Gala in New York City.

Harris took to Instagram to express his love and gratitude, reminiscing about their first date 18 years ago. He wrote, "Our first date was 18 years ago today. And David Burtka, I am not about to let you go. Happy anniversary. Thank you for showing me the capacity of my heart. I love you so much."

Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka’s Relationship Timeline 051

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April 2024

Harris and Burtka marked their 20th anniversary by reminiscing about their first date two decades ago. On Instagram, Harris expressed gratitude for the adventures and memories they have shared over the years. Looking forward to more wonderful days ahead, Harris declared his unconditional love for Burtka, with a touch of humor.

Burtka also posted a heartfelt message of his own.

He expressed, "My dreams have all come true ever since we embarked on this amazing journey together. Today is our 20th anniversary since our first date, and I can't picture a better life," accompanied by a photo of them holding hands. He further added, "@Nph I love you with all my heart. I think I deserve a medal...and so do you."

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