The Hilarious Quips of Laszlo: 20 Unforgettable Quotes from 'What We Do In The Shadows'

Summary

Laszlo's hilarious and blunt remarks make him one of the funniest characters in What We Do in the Shadows, and his quotes provide some of the show's best moments.

Laszlo's exceptional sense of enjoyment and his uniquely unrefined manner of communicating with others make him an outstanding character in the series. From confrontations with otherworldly entities to assisting Guillermo in his metamorphosis, Laszlo's unforgettable dialogue throughout the seasons enhances the show's comedic brilliance.

Laszlo quotes from What We Do in the Shadows contribute significantly to the show's comedic appeal, solidifying its reputation as one of the funniest on television. Among the amusing characters, vampire Laszlo Cravensworth shines as one of the best and a standout in the series. This English vampire's fixation on sex, coupled with his disregard for everything else, offers a distinct and amusing personality. His unconventional ideas of enjoyment and straightforward manner of communicating with others highlight why he is considered one of the funniest characters. Furthermore, the brilliant Laszlo Cravensworth quotes have provided some of the show's most memorable moments. In the fifth season of What We Do in the Shadows, Laszlo's character development continues as he faces significant challenges and forges new alliances. He maintains his sophisticated yet hilariously depraved nature, which is beloved by audiences. The witty lines he delivers throughout the new season contribute to the extensive collection of laugh-inducing quotes associated with Laszlo Cravensworth throughout the entire series.

20 "Well I Supposed This Gives You What We Gentlemen Call 'A Sporting Chance.'"

Season 5, Episode 9 - "A Weekend at Morrigan Manor"

While the main appeal of the show is its comedy, the action sequences in What We Do in the Shadows have surprised viewers with their effectiveness. Season 5 introduces one of the most impressive action scenes yet. Set in a grand mansion, the episode follows the group as they are systematically targeted and eliminated by a supernatural presence. During the chaos, Laszlo finds himself facing off against a masked opponent while practicing his fencing skills. To his surprise, the adversary keeps multiplying, but Laszlo remains unperturbed and skillfully fends off each duplicate. As the odds eventually stack against him with eight opponents, Laszlo's confidence remains unshaken, hinting at a glimmer of hope for his survival.

19 "Why Are You So Hairy? Who Cares?"

Season 5, Episode 6 - "Urgent Care"

In What We Do in the Shadows season 5, Laszlo demonstrates his loyalty as a friend to Guillermo by being the first to discover his vampire status. Furthermore, Laszlo assists in unraveling the enigma behind Guillermo's peculiar transformation by conducting animal experimentation with his own blood. This yields a plethora of peculiar creatures, including surprisingly hairy frogs, cheekily pointed out by Guillermo. In response, Laszlo playfully reminds Guillermo of his own hirsute nature, admonishing him against being too judgmental. This comical moment underscores Laszlo's penchant for delivering sharp-witted remarks to Guillermo and his unruffled nature when faced with the extraordinary.

18 "He's My Best Friend, He's My Pal, He's My Homeboy, My Rotten Soldier, My Sweet Cheese, My Good Time Boy."

Season 2, Episode 3 - "Brain Scramblies"

Laszlo, a cultured vampire, resides with a group of fellow vampires. However, his closest companion in What We Do in the Shadows is his human neighbor, Shaun. Despite their differences, Laszlo develops a fondness for Shaun's blue-collar lifestyle and straightforwardness. Their friendship necessitates a constant effort to hide their vampiric nature, leading to instances of excessive hypnotism and the unsettling condition known as the "brain scramblies." Yet, when the idea of killing Shaun is presented, Laszlo passionately expresses his deep affection for him in a heartfelt ode. This ode begins with tenderness but gradually delves into hilariously ludicrous territory as it progresses.

17 "Not A Human, Not Yet A Vampire, To Paraphrase One Of Your Contemporary Musical Troubadour."

Season 5, Episode 7 - "Hybrid Creatures"

The fish-out-of-water aspect of the show creates a lot of humor, particularly when the ancient vampires try to engage with modern pop culture. While assisting Guillermo with his transformation, Laszlo humorously compares his nature, being in between a human and a vampire, to Britney Spears' song "I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman". Laszlo's sincere admiration and refined references to Spears imply that his diverse and extensive interests go beyond what meets the eye.

16 "I Stand Corrected."

Season 3, Episode 4 - "The Casino"

When the vampires decide to venture outside their Staten Island home, they always have a blast. One memorable occasion was a trip to Atlantic City, where they indulged in the excitement of the casinos. Amidst the gambling, they unexpectedly crossed paths with Rat Pack impersonators. Laszlo, revealing his past connection with them, added even more depth to his already fascinating existence. The hilarity reached its peak when Laszlo voiced his confusion over a Chinese man portraying Frank Sinatra. However, the impersonator quickly silenced any doubt by flawlessly delivering Sinatra's iconic "ring-a-ding-ding," leaving Laszlo satisfied.

15 "I Gave You Those Raccoons As A Bloody Gift."

Season 1, Episode 2 - City Council

As part of their initial strategy to conquer America, Laszlo and his comrades decided to target the Staten Island city council as their entry point. Laszlo adopted the tactic of winning over one of the council members by assisting her with the raccoon predicament. The image of a colossal heap of deceased raccoons gracing the woman's porch already held a comical appeal. However, during the vampires' subsequent attendance at a council meeting, Laszlo found himself genuinely perplexed by her dissatisfaction with his considerate gesture.

14 "You Really Are The Most Devious Bastard In New York City."

Season 4, Episode 8 - Go Flip Yourself

Laszlo is an exceptionally enjoyable character primarily due to Matt Berry's astounding performance. Berry possesses the incredible talent of transforming any ordinary line into something uproariously funny with his quirky and captivating delivery. In one instance, when the cunning vampire rival Simon the Devious seeks revenge against Laszlo, he confronts him with a relatively mild declaration. However, it is Berry's peculiar yet delightful rendition of "New York City" that instantly turns it into a hilarious moment.

13 "I Was Doing The Bloody Disco 100 Years Before Any Other F***er."

Season 2, Episode 8 - Collaboration

Discovering Laszlo's various involvements and influences throughout history is truly entertaining. Whether it's delving into his connections to pornography, psychiatry, or exploring his surprising musical career, there's never a dull moment. One of the most amusing revelations is when he insists that the hit song "Come on Eileen" was actually plagiarized from a composition he wrote centuries ago. To his astonishment, Laszlo realizes that many of his other songs have also been replicated, leading him to angrily proclaim that he single-handedly invented disco. This comical glimpse into his musical past is yet another example of Berry's superb storytelling.

12 "Because We're Vampires My Squeaky-Voice, F***ing Bersserk, Nutjob, Idiot Friend."

Season 5, Episode 9 - "A Weekend at Morrigan Manor"

While Guillermo typically bears the brunt of the vampires' abuse in the show, there is another character in season 5 who also endures their insults and rudeness. Kristen Schaal's The Guide has become an essential member of the What We Do in the Shadows cast, but she is growing tired of being mistreated and decides to seek revenge. However, Laszlo shares a misleading videotape that suggests they actually treat her kindly in private. Yet, his explanation for this appears forced, as he struggles to maintain a pleasant and friendly demeanor while still hurling insults at her. The comedic brilliance lies in the fact that he can barely contain his harsh words, even when his own well-being is at stake.

11 "Well Then You Get In Your Car And You Drive Back To The Amazon."

Season 1, Episode 10 - Ancestry

Though the show has evolved into much more than just a story about vampires trying to adapt to the modern world, those jokes can still be the funniest. Despite being around for centuries, Laszlo and the others make no effort to stay updated. When Laszlo discovers Guillermo with wooden stakes, he confronts him angrily. He demands to know where Guillermo got them, and upon hearing "Amazon" as the response, Laszlo immediately assumes the jungle, without pausing to question if it makes any sense.

10 "Or Perhaps F*** That."

Season 3, Episode 7 - The Siren

An excellent aspect of the show is its brilliant fusion of supernatural mythology with a comically absurd atmosphere. This unique blend has allowed What We Do in the Shadows to introduce compelling creatures that are utilized in side-splitting ways. A prime demonstration of this occurs when Laszlo and Colin Robinson become ensnared by a grotesque siren entity. After the siren suggests that the two men may wish to vie for her affection, Laszlo brazenly retorts, "Or maybe screw that," exhibiting a simultaneous blend of courtesy and impoliteness.

9 "We Could Assassinate The King."

Season 1, Episode 2 - City Council

Despite their fondness for a good time, Laszlo and the other vampires seem to have completely forgotten their primary objective in coming to America – to conquer it. Upon the arrival of the formidable vampire Baron Afanas, who seeks to assess their progress, they hastily devise a plan to seize control of the country. Though Laszlo doesn't display much concern for the situation, he proposes a simple solution: assassinating the king. Ignoring Guillermo's reminder that America lacks a monarchy, Laszlo insists that this absence makes their task even more effortless.

8 "I Think I Swallowed The Harmonica."

Season 3, Episode 6 - The Escape

Laszlo's love for music is another entertaining aspect of his personality. He confidently considers himself one of the greatest musical artists in history, despite the differing opinions of others. In a peculiar turn of events, a centuries-old vampire manages to escape its imprisonment and wreak havoc in a sporting goods store. Undeterred by the chaos, Laszlo believes he can mesmerize the creature with his harmonica skills. However, his plan backfires, resulting in the vampire viciously attacking him and causing him to accidentally swallow the harmonica. From then on, the audience is treated to the comical spectacle of Laszlo attempting to speak, only to produce harmonica sounds instead.

7 "I Never Looked Him In The Eyes Anyway So I'm Certainly Not Going To Start Now."

Season 3, Episode 1 - The Prisoner

Despite Guillermo's endearing nature on the show, a startling revelation positions him as a formidable vampire slayer, causing a slight shift in power dynamics within the household. However, this newfound prowess fails to earn Guillermo any additional admiration from Laszlo. Confining him to the depths of the house's dungeon, the vampires descend to engage in a conversation with him. Nandor advises against making eye contact with Guillermo, citing safety concerns. Nonetheless, Laszlo adamantly declares that he has never esteemed Guillermo enough to meet his gaze.

6 "I Know We Haven't Got On Over The Years But… Nope, That's It."

Season 1, Episode 7 - The Trial

It's intriguing how Laszlo has managed to build relationships with everyone in the house, except for Nandor. Despite their longstanding acquaintance, Laszlo appears disinterested in connecting with his roommate. As the impending threat of sunlight execution looms upon the vampires, Laszlo decides to bid Nandor a final farewell. He initially notes their lack of compatibility but soon realizes he has little else to say.

5 "That's My Good Lady Wife Nadja, I Don't Think She'd Like You To See That."

Season 1, Episode 3 - Werewolf Feud

Laszlo's primary interest lies in a certain aspect of relationships, with each subsequent pursuit tied to this theme. An evident manifestation of this can be seen in his landscaping endeavors, where he has artistically crafted hedges resembling the intimate parts of the significant women in his life. With pride, Laszlo takes the documentary crew on a tour of his extraordinary and somewhat inappropriate garden. However, upon reaching the section dedicated to his beloved wife Nadja, he realizes that it may not be suitable for public viewing. Nevertheless, this tribute to her serves as a testament to the strength of their relationship, showcasing why they are regarded as one of the most extraordinary couples in What We Do In the Shadows.

4 "Well, That Changes Pretty Much F***ing Everything."

Season 3, Episode 10 - The Portrait

In the final episode of season 3 of What We Do in the Shadows, there is a significant shift in the dynamics of the group. Nadja is offered the opportunity to lead the vampire council in England, however, Laszlo steadfastly declines to accompany her, having pledged never to revisit his homeland. Laszlo later offers a sincere explanation for his decision, revealing that his society disapproved of his marriage to Nadja. Nevertheless, when Nadja highlights that they will be returning to England to govern, he promptly changes his stance.

3 "And If He Did, He Certainly Wouldn't Do It Backwards."

Season 2, Episode 2 - Ghosts

What sets What We Do in the Shadows apart is its ability to delve into a plethora of eerie supernatural beings beyond just vampires. In a particular episode, the vampires encounter a troubling ghost infestation in their house. These ghosts, however, prove to be exceptionally impolite. Amidst their haunting, Guillermo stumbles upon a note left by the ghost, which amusingly states "Laszlo sucks" in reverse. Guillermo promptly relays this message to Laszlo, who swiftly jumps to his own defense. Yet, it appears that he misunderstands the intended insult.

2 "This Is The Way We Talk In Tucson, Arizona."

Season 2, Episode 6 - On The Run

Laszlo finds himself in one of the most hilarious moments of the series when he becomes a target of an old nemesis seeking revenge. To escape his pursuer, he assumes a new persona as Jackie Daytona, a humble bartender in Pennsylvania. Jackie becomes an immensely captivating character who has garnered a fervent following and ignited desires for a spin-off in the What We Do in the Shadows universe. As Jackie effortlessly integrates into the local community, forging genuine connections and becoming a beloved figure, some individuals remain skeptical of his newly adopted identity. Whenever someone questions his refined accent, Jackie playfully insists that it is simply how folks converse in Arizona. However, his pronouncement of "Arizona" with a British accent fails to alleviate doubts about his true origins.

1 "That's Slightly Insulting But Probably True. Though I Can Go Again."

Season 2, Episode 9 - Witches

In another of their misadventures, Laszlo and Nandor find themselves captured by witches. Initially resistant to their captivity, their interest piques when the witches unveil a rather provocative ritual. Particularly captivated by the idea, Laszlo is momentarily intrigued. However, his pride is wounded when the head witch casually remarks that the ritual will be brief, leading him to take it as a slight, even if he acknowledges its likely accuracy.