The Captivating Journey: Unveiling the Six-Year Evolution of Valley of Shadow in an Exclusive Autobiographical Game Interview

Indie game Valley of Shadow offers players a unique gameplay experience that combines fantasy, therapy, and puzzles. Through the story of Anthony Vaccaro, co-creator and developer at Synersteel Studio, players can embark on a journey of self-healing as they navigate through real therapeutic processes that Anthony himself went through while coping with the loss of his father.

In an interview with Our website, Anthony discusses the close relationship between Valley of Shadow and his personal therapy experience. He highlights the game's ability to provide players with a sense of human connection, catering to their desire for meaningful interactions. The edited transcript below offers a clear and concise insight into his thoughts.

Q: Could you provide our readers with a brief introduction about yourself and Valley of Shadow?

Vaccaro: I am a lead narrative designer and lead artist at Synersteel Studio, an independent video game development company that my brother and I co-founded. With over 12 years of experience in the gaming industry, we are self-taught individuals who have pursued our passion for creating video games through practical means, without a formal education. I have been actively involved in this field for quite some time.

What inspired you to transform this into a video game?

Vaccaro: Before discussing this, I've deliberated on it for a few days since it's a frequently raised question. I believe the reason behind it lies in the process of aging. As I approach my 40th birthday in a couple of months, I've noticed that video games are evolving to cater to the growing demographic of individuals in their 40s, 50s, and even 60s. However, there haven't been many games that delve into personal experiences and mature alongside us. Consequently, I felt the need to find an outlet for my emotions and pain.

One day, I decided to embark on a new project because I felt a strong urge to express myself. On the other hand, I also realized the scarcity of discussions surrounding this topic within the gaming community. While games like Gone Home, which can be categorized as "walking simulators," have provided inspiration, they have not fully addressed the need for autobiographical experiences.

In your previous interview, you mentioned that the game has led to a continuous reexperiencing of trauma and grief. Have these emotions undergone any changes or evolution, or have they remained consistent?

Vaccaro: That's an excellent question. It's fascinating how going through a certain experience can lead to personal growth and healing from past traumas. However, for me, there's always a part that remains connected to those experiences. Despite being healed and having a loving family, when I write for Valley of Shadow, I find myself revisiting those dark moments in my mind. It's a somewhat risky situation because I can easily slip back into that mindset.

I have to constantly anchor myself in the present and remind myself of where I am when I work on the script. To create the right atmosphere, I prefer writing in a beautiful café surrounded by plants. My family provides immense support during this process. In essence, this is how I've evolved from my past, and it also grants me great empathy for those who are still struggling. This understanding allows me to grasp the underlying message of Valley of Shadow, which is meant to resonate with individuals who may not even realize they are going through something, but find certain aspects of the story relatable, perhaps reminding them of their own parental figures.

It's not that there is necessarily something wrong with me, but I can't help but resonate with this message. This journey for myself has turned into something more than just expressing my pain. Through the process of development, attending conventions, and speaking with players, I've started to realize the responsibility I have towards the people who are playing my story. I would also like to mention that Nicholas, my brother, plays a significant role in the game. He handles all the coding and puzzle design. Despite his reluctance to be interviewed, he always insists that this is my unique story and the way I work through my grief.

Vaccaro: We're approaching the beta stage and aiming to release it by the end of this year. The development of Valley of Shadow has been quite unconventional, as independent game developers often navigate through unfamiliar territory. Unlike massive corporations such as Electronic Arts or Ubisoft, we don't have a structured hierarchy to rely on. It's been a six-year journey, and ironically, it wasn't until four years into development that I sought therapy. The development of this game has not only involved creating the game itself but also personal growth and healing.

In your previous interview, you discussed the mechanics of the game such as spellcasting. Have there been any significant undisclosed changes since then?

Vaccaro: The mechanics themselves remain unchanged, but their significance and integration within the story have been reimagined. Each spell is now a representation of a person, rather than an emotion.

I can reveal some details. The puzzles connected to these spells now have a different connection to the end of the game. The most thrilling aspect of the writing process is how the narrative seamlessly intertwines with the game mechanics. Around 60% or 70% into the game, there is a shift in the game's paradigm. At this point, you not only engage in solving puzzles, but also navigate through my therapeutic journey, reliving my childhood traumas and overcoming them. Additionally, you will experience my early adulthood and the challenge of carrying emotional baggage without realizing it. Despite the shift in paradigm, you will still use spells, but in a different manner and various scenarios. This has been an immensely exciting aspect of the game.

We have an unconventional approach in the creation of our story and game. It resembles the unique style of David Lynch, setting it apart from mainstream content. Our incorporation of elements like the introduction of photographs and the inclusion of a therapy process throws players off balance because they are not accustomed to games like this. It is not our intention to provide all the answers, just like in life where many questions remain unanswered. However, this deliberate destabilization is what makes the experience memorable for players. They may find themselves asking me personal questions about family members based on what they see in the photos. The raw and genuine presentation of our story reflects my own life experiences and adds a compelling and powerful aspect to the game.

Q: Regarding the entire development process, is there anything you wish you had done differently?

Vaccaro: That's an excellent question. The process is complex yet straightforward, and making any alterations would have completely transformed it. Honestly, I regret not seeking therapy earlier. Can you imagine? Going to therapy much earlier would have likely influenced both the game's trajectory and my personal life, salvaging relationships that were damaged due to the immense pain I was enduring. The development of the game is so intricately intertwined with my own life experiences that seeking therapy at least two years earlier would have expedited the mechanical aspects of the process. For a significant period, we were clueless about the story's direction.

Question: Just to clarify a little more on the timeline. How old were you when your father passed away?

Vaccaro: 32.

Q: And then just in terms of therapy did you go on your own accord or did people suggest it to you?

Vaccaro: For a couple of years, people suggested that I consider it. I don't want to admit that I ignored their advice outright. However, I did hesitate to take the necessary steps because of my fear. It turns out, according to my therapist, that this hesitation is a common occurrence. In cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), when individuals like myself finally seek help, it's usually because we have reached a breaking point. This was certainly the case for me.

I don't want to reveal too much, as this particular moment is actually depicted in the game when I attend therapy. But I must acknowledge that I failed to listen to the countless women in my life who ultimately pleaded with me to seek help.

I have a great deal of respect and compassion for that - it's an entirely separate conversation topic [laughs], but that's what it was. Yes, I was requested to go and I confidently said, "No, I can handle this." However, internally, I was filled with fear because my entire identity was intertwined with my pain. This is a common experience for many people, where we become consumed by our pain and believe that it defines our lives. That was my personal experience. It was only when I reached my breaking point that I finally made the decision to seek help, and it completely altered the direction of my life and the creation of Valley of Shadow, thankfully.

It took me some time to truly understand and value this. Yes, it wasn't until about a year into therapy that I fully realized its power and transformational effects. Even after therapy, I still had a lot of work to do. It was during this phase that I came to the realization that the game's story needed to convey the message of "You can do this too." As a player, you are simply engaging in a video game for enjoyment and entertainment.

Thank you for sharing all of that. The music in the game has an eerie yet magical and mysterious sound. It evokes a mood similar to Harry Potter. Was that the intended atmosphere you were aiming for, and if so, how does it enhance the overall gameplay experience?

Question: Did you encounter any challenges when combining elements of fantasy with heavy real-life events and subjects?

Vaccaro: No, not really. Our experiences in American culture, specifically mainstream media culture, as well as the video games, movies, and shows we grew up with, have shaped our perception of these things as a certain kind of experience. It feels like there was an overload of it. So, I found myself wanting to be in a cemetery [laughs], while also being in a castle and my childhood home. The challenge was narrowing down these influences over time and aligning them with the game's ultimate message. I see our work as similar to a sculptor's process.

Initially, you have a huge block of marble or granite, and you work on carving it down and removing the unnecessary parts. We have an abundance of fantasy tropes, imagery, aesthetics, and even some sci-fi elements. So, our task is to determine what doesn't fit. That was the most difficult part – realizing a couple of years into the process, "Ah, we can discard this. We don't need to focus on this anymore. It's just wasting our energy. Let's replace these statues with something else that makes more sense."

A: The theme of light and dark is visually and conceptually explored in relation to trauma and healing in the connection between the utilization of magic and spell casting and Valley of Shadow's transformative journey towards healing.

Vaccaro: That's an excellent question. The incorporation of magic initially stemmed from a fantasy trope. We wanted to integrate this element into the storyline while also considering the interactive aspect since it is a video game.

As time went on, it developed into the staff that you currently wield. I don't want to reveal too much, but this staff plays a significant role later in the story. It brings me a sense of comfort, taking me back to a familiar place. It's reminiscent of when I was a child, seeking solace in gaming while my parents argued in the adjoining rooms. It allows me to immerse myself in the world of the game and escape into the realm of magic.

"I'm going to immerse myself in the world of Super Nintendo and EarthBound, and surprisingly, it ended up being a perfect fit. A lot of it was a fortunate coincidence. This feeling is already ingrained in us from growing up in the culture we belong to, and it became a foundation for the pain I experience as a human being.

It was as if this passion was already present, fueled by those experiences. I mean, casting magic spells, playing Dungeons and Dragons...like venturing out to a friend's place at night and completely losing myself in the game...just getting carried away by its enchantment. This eventually evolved into the creation of Valley of Shadow."

Navigating the puzzle rooms using these spells provides a comforting warmth amidst the cold surroundings. This sentiment is frequently echoed in the voiceovers, creating a back-and-forth dialogue. During therapy sessions, Emma encourages finding something warm while acknowledging the coldness. I mention that the staff provides warmth, to which she responds positively. Holding onto this warmth becomes a vital aspect of processing the trauma through the puzzle challenges.

As the game progresses, this concept transforms into something more intriguing, which I won't spoil because it's quite captivating. Nonetheless, this connection originated from the urge to find a place to channel the pain. Utilizing gaming actions and mechanics seemed like a fitting solution. Reflecting on it now, I realize that during those years as a 35 to 37-year-old, this was my way of experiencing and coping with the pain. Getting lost in the magic once again, I found solace. And it worked. I am alive, still standing, for yet another day.

Q: Do you think Valley of Shadow, being an autobiographical title, provides any advantages in comparison to other games?

Vaccaro: Absolutely. One of the main advantages is that not many games venture into this territory, and I can understand why. Personally, I have a deep connection to this story, and it would be extremely challenging to create without the support of my close family members. Both my brother and sister play pivotal roles in both the narrative and technical aspects of the game. Recognizing this a few years ago, we realized that it would be our strongest marketing point. This game delves into a profoundly personal and dark story, and we have strived to make it as authentic as possible.

Finding this is not an easy task. Many others have attempted it, and after showcasing Valley of ShadowI at conventions, people often ask, "How can I do what you're doing?" I would spend hours sitting with them, discussing their own personal traumas after they had played the demo for an hour. While some may express interest in pursuing this path, the challenge lies in finding someone who truly excels at it.

Similar to That Dragon, Cancer, which was released nearly a decade ago, telling stories like these is a rare occurrence. These narratives are few and far between due to their immense emotional weight. Not only must they be told with precision and sensitivity, but they must also captivate and engage the audience, ensuring they do not grow bored throughout the experience.

Undoubtedly, To the Moon serves as a tremendous source of inspiration. It profoundly moved me to the extent that I found myself shedding tears for a solid hour after indulging in the game [laugh]. It encompasses a duality that adds to its immense appeal, as only a handful of individuals possess the desire to embark on such a journey. Honestly, at present, even I find it challenging to navigate through its depths [laugh].

Vaccaro: Wow, there's actually a lot [laughs]. The Valley of Shadow is such a comprehensive experience... it has become something that I really enjoy connecting with people who have gone through it. What were your experiences? What have you been through? We never expected it to resonate so deeply with people.

The fear was present during the initial two years of development, prior to showcasing it at any conventions. Our first experience was at Awesome Con in 2019, where, apart from our girlfriends and Maria, our sister, no one had played it before. At that time, we doubted that anyone would understand it. This was before the story had even formed, before I had sought therapy. It solely relied on visuals, music, and my voiceovers where I questioned my whereabouts. It felt as if I was coerced into a meditative state, awakening from a dream, wondering, "Where am I? Why are there photos here?"

Before attending the convention, we believed that this unique content would not resonate with anyone, as it was too artistic. Consequently, we incorporated various retro elements like D&D books, Magic cards, GI Joe figurines, and numerous posters, hoping that these additions would generate discussions. Surprisingly, the outcome was quite the opposite.

An older woman, approximately aged 40 to 45, stood by as her two children played. Engaged in conversation, she expressed, "This game has a rather somber undertone." We delved into the game's theme, and she added, "I comprehend. To me, the staff symbolizes the light that guides us in dark times." I resonated with her sentiment and replied, "Yes, that's exactly how it feels." Her words regarding her cancer treatment resonated deeply within me, prompting me to exclaim, "Wow, that realization is profound!" It was at that moment that everything fell into place. I became acutely aware that we could accomplish this, and Nick shared the same sentiment.

As a culture, as a nation, as a global civilization, we yearn for genuine human connection. We crave discussions on deeper topics that are often overlooked in mainstream media. Commercials, for instance, rarely touch upon subjects like the loss of a loved one. Even video games, traditionally catered to children, rarely address these matters. What about adults? What about those of us who have experienced loss, battled cancer, or endured the long-lasting effects of Covid-19? Where do we find an outlet for our emotions?

That is the advantage, but it is also the reason why I believe the significance of our medium lies in the responsibility of the artist, if games can be considered art. The artists depend on you, and it is imperative that we take accountability for the messages and ideas we express. So, that is all I wish to discuss [laughs].

Valley of Shadow is projected to release sometime in 2024.