Molly Carlson's Journey from Darkness to Inspiring Millions: A Conversation on Mental Health

Jumping off a platform that dangles 66 feet in the air above a cliff, with nothing but deep open water beneath, is an overwhelming prospect for many. However, for high diver and influencer Molly Carlson, it represents an opportunity for liberation and freedom. It is her moment to soar.

As a self-proclaimed "professional athlete with anxiety," these vertigo-inducing heights are precisely where she finds tranquility. Cliff diving played a vital role in the 25-year-old's journey to recovery from what she describes as a tumultuous period in her life, marked by intense loneliness and a debilitating binge eating disorder. To her, it feels akin to receiving therapeutic treatment free of charge.

"I have always found immense joy in diving due to the necessity of being fully present and focused on ensuring safety and survival, leaving no room for distraction or worry," she revealed to CNN Sport.

"In that moment, my mind enters a state of serenity and tranquility, providing the perfect atmosphere to truly appreciate and revel in the experience of diving."

"When I engage in cliff diving, only my presence and the surrounding air hold any significance. It feels as though I am soaring through the sky."

Carlson's distinctiveness extends beyond her awe-inspiring high dives. With an impressive following of nearly four million on TikTok and over 250,000 on Instagram, the 25-year-old stands out by sharing her professional journey and bravely discussing her mental well-being. Her openness serves as an inspiring force, encouraging others to also share their own experiences.

"I am deeply passionate about mental health, and through my personal journey, I have acquired invaluable insights that have now become an integral part of my aspirations," she expressed.

"My ultimate goal is to deliver impactful speeches to athletes, guiding them on the importance of prioritizing self-care and seeking assistance whenever necessary. It is my sincere desire to prevent others from enduring the devastating year of turmoil that I personally experienced, ensuring that they never have to feel secluded or unsupported."

Carlson defines her "mental injury" as the lowest point she has ever reached and openly discusses her ongoing struggles, such as anxiety and body dysmorphia. Despite the arduous nature of her journey, she remains resolute in her commitment to helping others.

Carlson on a platform before performing a dive.

Romina Amato/Red Bull/Getty Images

Love at first dive

Hailing from Fort Frances, Ontario, Canada and growing up in Thunder Bay, Carlson initially pursued gymnastics before shifting her focus to the aquatic realm, specifically, the space above the water.

"My sister used to be a swimmer, and I had to accompany her to her practices which I found extremely dull," Carlson recalled. "However, in one corner of the pool, there was the dive team performing astonishing jumps from unimaginable heights. At that moment, I turned to my mom and knew instantly that I wanted to pursue this sport."

At the age of nine, Carlson embarked on her diving journey, and within two years, she was proudly representing Canada. She attributes her rapid progress to her fearless nature, labeling herself as a "reckless adventurer."

A decorated junior diver, Carlson won two Pan American Game titles and dived for Team Canada at Nanjing 2014 Youth Olympics.

Olympic heartbreak a blessing in disguise

For every athlete, the ultimate goal is to represent their country in the Olympic Games, and Carlson shared this dream from a very young age. Since she was four, she had been aspiring to compete on the grandest stage of them all.

Unfortunately, the intense drive to qualify for the 2016 Rio de Janeiro Games had a negative impact on Carlson, who was just 17 at the time. Her pursuit of making the Canadian team consumed her life and led her down a troubling and challenging path.

According to Carlson, her height, towering over her diving peers at 5-foot-8-inches while they stood at 5-foot-2-inches, led to the development of a binge eating disorder and various other mental health problems. In her pursuit of Olympic dreams, she believed that she needed to shrink in size.

Giving in to that negative thought sent me down a bleak path, causing me to miss out on the opportunity to compete in the Olympics. Only the top two contenders qualified, while I disappointingly secured fourth place. Experiencing this shortfall served as a pivotal moment, as it awakened her to the realization that her passion for diving was dwindling.

"I found solace instead of despair," she confessed. "For the first time, I recognized the importance of seeking assistance. By reaching out for help, I could rediscover my passion for diving and learn to embrace myself once more.

"Not making it onto the Olympic team turned out to be a fortunate turn of events."

We were the guinea pigs!

Carlson continued diving at college, heading to Florida State University (FSU).

Continuing her journey towards healing, she wasted no time in confiding in her diving coach, John Proctor, about her mental well-being upon her arrival on campus, as she was determined to commence her university tenure truthfully. Responding swiftly, Proctor promptly connected her with a nutritionist and a mental health coach.

Reflecting back on that discussion, Carlson stated that it left her feeling empowered and served as a driving force behind her achievements. Throughout her time as a Florida State Seminole, she garnered numerous accolades, including being recognized as an NCAA All-American and earning the title of Atlantic Coast Conference Diver of the Year on three separate occasions.

Proctor's college career was interrupted by the pandemic, prompting her to consider high diving as an alternative to indoor diving, which had become impractical due to wrist injuries. Uncertain at first, Carlson sought the opinions of her Instagram followers, creating a poll on her story to gauge interest in trying cliff diving. The results were overwhelmingly positive, with 99% in favor, except for her mother's dissenting vote.

Carlson dives from a 21-meter platform.

Dean Treml/Red Bull/Getty Images

"Being the first in the world to do a lot of things does not sit easy with my mum," Carlson laughed.

"She couldn't bear to witness my regular dives; instead, she would anticipate the applause, only to celebrate afterwards. You didn't even observe it!"

"I share videos with her simply to boost her self-assurance, but she has actually attended an event where she witnessed me perform a dive, so that counts as progress."

Impressing in practice sessions, she earned the chance to participate in the 2021 Red Bull Cliff Diving World Series as a wild card. Making her debut, Carlson secured a second-place finish in her inaugural event and claimed third place in the overall standings that season.

Continuing her progress, she joined the ranks of 12 female professionals the following year, competing full-time. She emerged as the runner-up, trailing behind the five-time champion Rhiannan Iffland. Currently, she holds the second position in the championship and is poised for the upcoming final event next month.

Carlson trains in Montreal, where she developed a deep passion for the sport, thanks to the city's state-of-the-art 20-meter indoor platform.

"We were complete novices in the beginning, as very few individuals pursue this sport. It felt like we were pioneers, continually experimenting with various dives, even attempting some that were beyond our abilities!" she laughed.

Everyone has their brave story

In addition to her thriving cliff diving career, Carlson has amassed a significant fan base on various social media platforms. Through her posts, she offers a glimpse into her daily life, captivating the attention of millions.

What sets her content apart is its uniqueness. Whether she's standing on a podium adorned with a medal or experiencing a panic attack before a crucial competition, Carlson openly discusses her journey in both cliff diving and mental health, providing intricate details.

Motivated by a significant conversation with her college diving coach and her own upbringing, which witnessed a pervasive stigma surrounding mental health, Carlson aspires to leverage her platform to shed light on a topic that many individuals are hesitant to discuss due to its taboo nature.

"What I discovered through my experience is that discussing mental health with someone makes it tangible," remarked Carlson.

"I had this belief that Instagram had to portray perfection. I was raised during its emergence, where every post was a showcase of the best moments in your life; if it didn't depict them, you couldn't share it."

"I often share with my four million followers that today is not a suitable day for me to attempt a dive from 66 feet. It's amazing how many people respond saying they didn't realize they could reject something and find it exhilarating."

"I believe that when I expose my vulnerability, it also encourages my followers to embrace their own vulnerability," she expressed.

Carlson competes during the Red Bull Cliff Diving World Series.

Valery Hache/AFP/Getty Images

Upon receiving a message from a 12-year-old girl, in which she disclosed her difficulties attending school due to anxiety, Carlson had an awakening, recognizing the profound impact her videos have on the lives of young individuals.

"I feel like a mom watching my kids, its so inspirational," Carlson said.

"It reminds me that what Im doing is impacting lives and I should keep going."

Carlson believes that everyone has their own brave story. As the founder of the #BraveGang, videos under this hashtag have garnered over one billion views on TikTok. She sees this tag as a community where her followers can come together, share their experiences of overcoming fears, and open up about their mental health.

"#BraveGang originated in the kitchen alongside my mother. As I contemplated my comments, I couldn't help but notice the frequent appearance of the word 'brave'. It dawned on me that we should integrate this concept further.

Consequently, I encouraged all my followers to employ this hashtag when sharing their own tales of bravery. Moreover, I assured them that our united community stands ready to provide unwavering support."

"And it's amazing to see all these inspiring videos of young girls mastering their first cartwheel or having the courage to come out to their parents - it's such a significant moment, and they're using my hashtag!"

Facing fears is a familiar challenge for the Canadian. Carlson has always been afraid of sharks and continues to battle this phobia, even though she frequently dives into open waters. In an unsuccessful attempt to overcome her fears, she ventured into shark cage diving in South Africa.

"I will forever be scared," she said.

"I think its okay to have fears. If it was limiting me from actually jumping into the water and diving, then I would try to work on it."

High diving at the Olympics would be a full circle moment

Though it is yet to fully break into the mainstream, high diving is a growing sport.

The sport made its first appearance at the World Aquatics Championships in 2013, leading to suggestions that it be included in the 2028 Olympics in Los Angeles. Carlson, one of its biggest advocates, voiced support for this idea. However, despite these efforts, the sport was not among the five new sports added to the program this month.

Carlson asserts, "The greater its viral reach, the more individuals discover and appreciate this sport. We have generated genuine enthusiasm for it and demonstrated just how enjoyable it can be."

Carlson is one of the most vocal voices about high diving featuring in the Olympics.

Quinn Rooney/Getty Images

For Carlson, competing in high diving at the Olympics would be more than just representing her country on the national stage.

"I see it as a complete journey because during my pursuit of the Olympics in 2016, I lacked self-love and failed to derive joy from it. However, now that I have developed self-love and actively worked on self-improvement, it would demonstrate that loving oneself is indeed possible while pursuing and attaining our dreams."

Securing her sport's inclusion in the Games is merely one of the young athlete's enduring aspirations. Aside from aiming to overthrow Iffland and secure the World Series title, she also seeks to make a noteworthy impact beyond the realm of water.

After she finishes her diving career, her objective is to establish Brave Gang as an independent brand and initiate a foundation. In addition to this, she is equally dedicated to public speaking, considering her legacy to be of equal importance to her upcoming dives.