Grieving Families of American Hostages Appeal for the Repatriation of Their Loved Ones: A Heart-wrenching Plea

Iris Weinstein Haggai received heartbreaking news about her parents' deaths in a short span of time. On December 22, she found out that her father, Gadi, was killed on October 7. Just six days later, she received the devastating news that her mother, Judi, was also murdered by Hamas on the same day as the attacks.

Weinstein Haggai and her family faced a difficult decision. They needed to decide if they could observe the Jewish tradition of sitting shiva after losing their loved ones. However, Judi and Gadi’s bodies were still in the custody of Hamas.

Despite the circumstances, a small family gathering took place in Toronto, where some members of the Weinstein Haggai family grew up and still reside. Following this, two virtual gatherings were arranged over Zoom by extended family. These gatherings brought together relatives, friends, students, and neighbors from the couple’s kibbutz to honor Judi and Gadi.

Weinstein Haggai and her three siblings chose not to participate in the Zoom gatherings but watched the recordings later. The tributes to her parents, described as "peaceniks," were touching, yet also difficult for the siblings to handle. They were out for their usual early morning walk when Hamas attacked.

“It felt very final, and my heart just couldn't accept that yet. I don't even have their bodies to bury,” shared Weinstein Haggai, 38, with CNN. “Listening to people speak about them, like during a shiva or ceremony, was tough for me. I found it hard to fully engage in that moment.”

Andrea Weinstein, Judi's younger sister from Connecticut, attended a small family gathering in Toronto. She remembered a moment when a rabbi present seemed unsure. He mentioned that he couldn't find a suitable prayer for the situation, expressing his difficulty in finding the right words.

Weinstein recalled the rabbi asking, "Is there a prayer for this?" He seemed puzzled, saying, "There's nothing that really fits. This is not something we usually encounter."

Families of the hostages abducted by Hamas are facing the difficult task of grieving and honoring their deceased family members without being able to bury their bodies. Three American hostages, Judi Weinstein Haggai, Gadi Haggai, and Itay Chen, who were dual Israel-American citizens, have been confirmed dead. Their families express that they cannot find peace of mind until the bodies are returned.

Weinstein Haggai expressed his need for closure, emphasizing the importance of ensuring a respectful burial for those lost. He shared, "I can't rest until they are laid to rest."

Itay, a 19-year-old soldier in the Israeli military, tragically lost his life on October 7. The Chen family, upon receiving the heartbreaking news, welcomed family and friends into their home for several days. They also organized a march from their home to a nearby synagogue to honor Itay's life.

‘The deceased are not a negotiating chip’

Ruby Chen's father was part of a group of family members of American hostages who met with top US officials in Washington, DC this week. They had meetings with Vice President Kamala Harris and President Joe Biden's national security adviser Jake Sullivan.

Chen has been attending in-person meetings with Sullivan since October 7. This week's meeting was just one of many, but it was the first since Itay was declared dead by the Israeli government on March 12.

In a recent interview, Chen expressed his hope for the day when he no longer has to see Sullivan. However, until his son's body is returned to him and his wife, Chen feels it is necessary to keep attending meetings with Biden administration officials.

Chen emphasized the importance of bringing back both the dead and living hostages during his meetings with Sullivan and Harris this week. He urged the US government to prioritize the return of the deceased alongside the living. Chen stated, "The deceased should not be used as a bargaining tool. Their return should not be delayed until after the living hostages are brought back. Both should be given equal importance."

Chen is discussing the current negotiations between Israel and Hamas, which are being facilitated by the US, Qatar, and Egypt. The focus of the talks is to establish a temporary ceasefire in Gaza in return for the release of hostages held by Hamas. Negotiators have indicated that the first group to be released will include women, the wounded, the sick, and the elderly. According to previous reports from CNN, the remains of deceased individuals will be among the last to be released.

Weinstein, who was also present at the recent meeting with the vice president, emphasized the importance of putting pressure on Hamas to release both the living hostages and those who are believed to be deceased.

They both expressed a desire to have two sets of negotiations happening simultaneously - one for the safe return of the living hostages and another for the retrieval of the deceased hostages.

According to Chen, both Sullivan and Harris seemed open to their suggestions. Weinstein noted that the vice president was actively engaged, listening attentively and absorbing all the information shared.

She mentioned that she felt the families were supported and understood in dealing with the various challenges.

The White House report on the vice president's discussion with the families highlighted the American hostages' bodies. It stated that Harris reiterated the United States' dedication to repatriating the remains of those who have unfortunately been confirmed as deceased.

Recovery of the bodies is still a top priority in the negotiations for the release of the hostages, according to a White House official.

Families of the hostages are still grappling with the heartbreaking uncertainty surrounding the fate of their loved ones' remains.

Gadi Haggai was not only a talented jazz musician but also a skilled chef. On the other hand, Judi Weinstein Haggai was known for her poetry, often writing haikus with a focus on peace. Her sister Andrea Weinstein fondly referred to Judi as her "tiny big sister" and mentioned that the couple prioritized taking good care of their bodies.

According to Andrea, Gadi and Judi were a dynamic creative duo, both individually and together. They believed in nourishing themselves with healthy foods to fuel their creativity. Andrea mentioned that Gadi was always ready to include others in their healthy eating habits, often adding a little extra to the salad if someone wanted to join them.

Ruby and Hagit Chen have described their son, Itay, as a “happy boy” who was “always smiling.” Friends have shared stories about Itay being funny, his infectious laugh, and his kindness towards others. Hagit Chen told CNN’s Jake Tapper that Itay will be remembered as the best person they knew, a beautiful boy.

After October 7, the Chens, along with Weinstein Haggai and Weinstein, were filled with fear about their loved ones' safety in Gaza. The news of their son, parents, sister, and brother-in-law's deaths has left them haunted by the possibility of never being able to bring their bodies home.

Chen expressed his concern for his son, saying he doesn't want him to be left in a terrible place in Gaza. He believes his son deserves more respect, as his body was taken by savages.

Yom Hazikaron, Israel's Memorial Day, is approaching in a month. Weinstein Haggai shares Chen's feelings, feeling disgusted by the thought of her parents' bodies being trapped in Gaza. She worries if there will ever be a place for her and her family to visit her parents.

In Judaism, a specific burial ceremony called a shiva holds great significance. It is a crucial ritual for finding closure after the loss of a loved one. Despite knowing that they are no longer with us, we are unable to properly mourn their passing at this time.

Editor's P/S:

The article sheds light on the profound pain and anguish experienced by the families of American hostages abducted and killed by Hamas. The inability to bury their loved ones' bodies adds an unbearable layer of grief, hindering closure and exacerbating their suffering. Despite the emotional turmoil, the families remain steadfast in their determination to bring both the living and deceased hostages home.

The article highlights the complexities of the negotiations between Israel and Hamas, with the deceased hostages often being the last to be released. The families rightly emphasize the equal importance of securing the return of both the living and the deceased, and they urge the US government to prioritize this in their diplomatic efforts. It is essential that the US and other involved parties continue to work tirelessly to facilitate the release of all hostages and the repatriation of their remains, allowing these families to finally begin the healing process.