From Homeless to Hero: Inspiring Story of a Single Foster Dad Giving Hope to Kids

At around 3 a.m., a nervous 11-year-old arrived at Peter Mutabazi's doorstep. The young boy, dressed in blue pajamas and draped in a gray Batman blanket, carried only a duffel bag containing a sweater, a pair of sneakers, and little else. Earlier, a social worker had contacted Mutabazi to inform him about the abandoned boy. The adopted parents had left him at a hospital, and he was in urgent need of a temporary place to stay for the weekend.

In January 2017, Mutabazi found himself unsure about taking in more children. He had recently bid farewell to two foster siblings and needed time to recover. However, he couldn't shake off memories of feeling scared, alone, and unwanted from his own troubled past. Mutabazi had escaped from an abusive household as a child and survived on the harsh streets of Kampala, Uganda. Eventually, a stranger changed his life by paying for his high school education, which paved the way for a college scholarship and his eventual relocation to the United States.

Reflecting on his own experiences, Mutabazi understood the importance of providing solace and support to others who had faced similar hardships. He thought about the pain of never receiving a proper goodbye or explanation from his adoptive parents. Determined to make a difference, he decided to open his heart and home to a new child.

Shortly after Anthony arrived, he approached Mutabazi with a request to address him as dad.

"I told him, no, no, no. You're only here for the weekend, so just call me Peter," recalls Mutabazi. However, Anthony was determined. "He said to me, They told me I can pick my dad now that I'm 11, and I pick you."

Anthony, who had been in foster care since he was a toddler, didn't end up leaving Mutabazi's house as intended that weekend. In November 2019, Mutabazi adopted Anthony and gave him his surname.

Recently, Mutabazi also adopted two additional children: a sibling pair who had lived with him for three years. Isabella, who is 8 years old, is now considered the head of the household, according to Mutabazi, while Luke, who is 7, is a timid boy with a charming smile.

Mutabazi, 49, has an unconventional family where he, being Black, has adopted White children. However, he firmly believes that love surpasses racial disparities. "Now I am a girl dad. It often feels surreal," he expresses. "When I glance at them, it's hard to believe that they are my children, carrying my surname. It astounds me how a person who was once homeless and despondent has built this extraordinary family brimming with love."

Hes a rarity in the foster parent community

There were almost 400,000 children in foster care in the US in fiscal year 2021, according to the Department of Health and Human Services most recent statistics.

Mutabazi, an unmarried individual, is a member of a unique demographic. According to federal data, single men comprise only about 3% of foster parents. Moreover, as an immigrant and a Black man, Mutabazi belongs to an even smaller subset within the foster parent community.

Since 2016, when he took on the role of a foster father, Mutabazi has provided a nurturing home for approximately thirty children from diverse racial and cultural backgrounds. While some of his foster children have been successfully reunited with their families, others continue to receive his care.

Mutabazi showcases snippets from his life as a foster father on his Instagram account, reaching out to his extensive community of 328,000 followers. His aim is to inspire other men to become actively involved in fatherhood and to emphasize that a strong and supportive family is built on love rather than solely on external appearance.

After playing outside, Peter Mutabazi serves his foster kids ice cream in their Charlotte, North Carolina, home.

Sean Mcinnis/The Charlotte Observer/Zuma

To protect their privacy, he obscures the identities of his foster children by blurring their faces. However, on the occasion of Luke and Isabella's adoption, he shared a video in which they gradually removed their sunglasses, revealing their faces to his followers for the first time. Following the signing of the adoption documents, the family celebrated with a dance party.

Mutabazi currently resides with six children in his household, three of whom are foster children. The youngest sibling of Luke and Isabella, aged 2, is also a foster child.

In contrast to typical bachelor pads, his five-bedroom home is a lively blend of the sounds of playful children and the energy of two rambunctious dogs named Simba and Rafiki. White bunkbeds adorned with stuffed animals, colorful drawings on the fridge, and scattered toys in various rooms contribute to the chaotic atmosphere.

Being a single dad is no easy task for Mutabazi, but he finds support in a community of fellow foster parents. Nevertheless, he wouldn't have it any other way. His afternoons and evenings are filled with picking up his children from school, assisting them with their homework, and providing driving lessons to his now-teenage son.

As a boy he survived on the street by carrying others groceries

Preparing the majority of the family meals, he has also familiarized his adopted children with the culinary delights of traditional African cuisine. Among their cherished preferences, chapati holds a special place - a delectable flatbread resembling a tortilla, renowned in both East Africa and India.

In his book, "Now I Am Known: How a Street Kid Turned Foster Dad Found Acceptance and True Worth," Mutabazi recounts his journey of escaping a physically abusive parent by running away from home at the age of 10. For five years, he endured life on the streets of Kampala, surviving by helping people with their groceries and earning money to purchase food. He often resorted to stealing bananas or oranges from shopping bags, relying on them as his sole meal.

One day, a stranger approached Peter and asked for his name. Peter was shocked as no one had ever done that before during his time living on the streets. The stranger then took Peter under his wing, enrolling him in a boarding school and essentially becoming his foster father.

Today, Mutabazi, as he is now known, hopes to give back by advocating for other children. He obtained a bachelor's degree in business administration from Makerere University in Kampala and later received a scholarship to study crisis management at Oak Hill College in London.

Mutabazi moved to Santa Clarita, California, twenty years ago to pursue theology studies at Masters University. Over the years, he has dedicated his career to working for child advocacy organizations, such as Compassion International and World Vision US. Currently, he holds the position of a senior child advocate.

Instead of waiting for a partner to begin a family, Mutabazi chose to establish his own, one that transcends racial or societal expectations.

"It does not make sense to waste those years while waiting," he says.

He gets questions from strangers as the adoptive father of White kids

Mutabazi fosters children without discrimination, welcoming kids from diverse backgrounds including White, Latino, Native American, and African American.

However, the associated costs can accumulate. In North Carolina, foster parents receive a monthly payment of $500 to $700 per child, varying based on their age, as reported by Fostering NC.

As the father of three White children whom he has adopted, he often encounters situations where people inquire about their parents' whereabouts while they are in public, he shares. He recounted a recent incident at Costco where his kids expressed a desire to sample some food samples.

"The woman replied, 'Hey, I won't be able to offer you food until you bring your dad or parents along.' My children immediately protested, saying, 'But he's right here,' " he recalls. "I questioned her further, 'If I were White, would you have insisted on the same requirement?' She answered, 'No, because I witness White families with Black children every day.'"

Mutabazi gives his oldest son Anthony a haircut. "Simple things go a long way to show someone you see them and you care," he says.

Courtesy Peter Mutabazi

Mutabazi ensures he carries documentation to affirm his role as the adoptive father or foster parent of his children wherever he travels. This precautionary measure was adopted due to the frequent instances of individuals alerting the authorities about an unfamiliar Black man accompanied by White children, he reveals. He aspires to transform the stereotype associated with adoptive parents through citing well-known figures, such as Angelina Jolie and Madonna, who have also chosen to adopt African children.

"They consider it a natural and noble cause," he says, noting that a Black man adopting White children is often viewed as challenging the societal norms. With his story, Mutabazi aims to inspire men of all backgrounds to be present for the children who require their support.

He reminds his children over and over that they belong

"One of the major difficulties I encounter as a foster father," explains Mutabazi, "is attempting to justify to the children why their parents are unable to return for them. Witnessing them relinquish their aspirations of reuniting with their families is truly heart-rending."

Being unable to reassure a child that everything will be alright. When a child experiences the loss of a mother or another family member who is still alive, and they question why they cannot see their mother, and you are aware that the reason is, for instance, substance abuse, and you are unable to disclose it, it becomes extremely difficult. It is a burden of suffering that cannot be shouldered for the sake of the child," he explains.

He emphasizes that the only thing he can do is establish a nurturing and secure environment for the children. He endeavors to be there for them throughout their journey, supporting them at every turn.

Mutabazi expresses that his greatest joy comes from surpassing the traumas of his childhood and becoming the father figure he longed for. He aims to impart to his children the importance of expressing one's emotions and the assurance of unconditional love, even during their most challenging moments. He reflects on the absence of affection and support during his own childhood, emphasizing the significance of survival as his primary concern.

Mutabazi, 49, poses in the kitchen of his Charlotte home. "Im a girl dad now. Sometimes it feels surreal," he says.

Sean Mcinnis/The Charlotte Observer/Zuma

He says he wants his children, who come to him with their own traumas, to just enjoy being kids.

According to a child psychiatrist, it is essential for foster parents to create a stable and emotionally supportive environment for children in their care. Fleisher, the medical director of the Boston Child Study Center in Los Angeles, emphasizes that foster parents can greatly contribute by offering a secure and predictable home. The significance of this fundamental structure should not be undervalued.

Foster children, according to Fleisher, require the opportunity to privately process their emotions before they are prepared to disclose them.

"Foster parents who excel ensure that love, emotional stability, patience, flexibility, and discipline used for teaching purposes rather than shaming are provided," he explains. "Some strategies they can employ include comforting children when they are distressed, celebrating their accomplishments and happiness, acknowledging and validating their perspectives and responses to situations, and respecting their need for personal space while remaining available for conversations when they require them."

Mutabazi spreads love to his children by inscribing affirming words in various locations within their home, such as the fridge and a closet. Messages like "You are seen. You belong. You matter. You're chosen. You're not alone. You're a gift. You're loved" serve as reminders of their worth and are even engraved on the bandanas worn by their beloved dogs during walks, ensuring the kids can always see them.

Mutabazi reminisces about a recent episode where Simba urinated on the carpet, causing frustration as he attempted to tidy up the mess. Catching sight of Anthony observing him, he swiftly composed himself and comforted Simba. His intention was to convey to his son that imperfection does not hinder one's ability to receive his unwavering love and unwavering commitment, even extending to the household pets.

Anthony listened, then chimed in.

"Its OK Simba," the teen told him. "You are loved. We are a family.  You belong here."