Finding Fulfillment as a Marketer and Mother

Purpose mum marketer

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In November 2022, I had the opportunity to speak in front of a room filled with over 100 marketers. The atmosphere was incredibly positive and emotional, with many in the audience shedding tears. The reason for the tears was a personal experience that I shared during my keynote, which deeply resonated with the audience.

Back in 2019, I was thrilled to find out that I was expecting my first child. Despite the initial exhaustion of the first trimester, I felt a sense of relief and joy at our 12-week scan when everything appeared to be progressing smoothly. However, I hesitated to share the news of my pregnancy with my colleagues at work.

I decided not to share the news just yet, even though it's common to do so. I had a secret that I didn't feel ready to reveal. It was fear that drove me to keep it to myself.

I was eager to become a mother, but I had put in a lot of effort to advance in my career and had made sacrifices along the way. I knew that as a woman, I had to work harder and do more to reach my goals. And I was succeeding. Was I risking it all by starting a family?

Continuing to work diligently and pushing aside my underlying fear kept me busy until the 20-week scan arrived. The moment of truth had finally come. It was time to inform my workplace.

Everyone was so lovely and pleased for us, but amidst the smiles and hugs there was one offhand comment;

“Oh, we’ve lost her!”

We have lost her.

At that time, I didn't fully grasp the situation. I heard the statement, but it didn't sink in immediately. I can't recall my exact response, but I likely chuckled, made a light-hearted comment, or casually replied with something like: "I'm still here for now."

This comment was a seed that was firmly planted in the fertile soil of my brain.

It wasn’t said with malice, but it took root.

Negotiating the tension

As I continued with my pregnancy, that offhand comment popped back into my mind relatively frequently, but I kept pushing it back down. I had work to do.

As we transitioned into the Covid pandemic and UK lockdown, the workload became more demanding as we had to adapt to online teaching and operations. I found myself completely engrossed in work, fueled by my determination to work until the 38th week, thinking it would extend my maternity leave. Looking back, I see that I was also using work as a shield, holding onto the identity I had invested so much of myself in.

We welcomed our son into the world during the first lockdown amidst many challenges and difficulties. Parenting suddenly became our main focus, and we have been navigating through all the ups and downs ever since.

One thing that has stood out is the struggle of balancing motherhood with a career. When I went back to work, I felt like I didn't quite fit in anymore.

While on maternity leave, I took on various projects to stay connected to my work. I also dedicated time to prepare my application for a promotion at the university. Upon my return, I was thrilled to be promoted to the role of professor.

One thing that has stood out to me is the struggle of balancing motherhood with my professional life. This was a new experience for me and it felt quite challenging. When I resumed work, I felt out of place and like I didn't quite fit in.

The seed that had started growing was now flourishing rapidly. I was feeling overwhelmed. I was confused, stressed, pulled in various directions, exhausted, and filled with self-doubt. I had evolved, and the world around me had evolved during my absence.

The words "We've lost her" were becoming a reality, and I was becoming a reflection of that loss. I no longer felt like I belonged.

I had already experienced the unfamiliar feeling of my body not quite feeling like my own and the sadness that came with it. I had also navigated the shift of putting my own needs aside for a newborn, while simultaneously trying to figure out my new identity as a mother.

However, my career was a different story. It was something that belonged solely to me, not something I shared with others. It was the constant in my life that I had always counted on and looked forward to returning to. But to my surprise, it didn't bring me the comfort I had expected, leaving me feeling adrift.

This time around, my second maternity leave feels completely different compared to the first one. The pandemic has definitely played a big role in shaping this unique experience. But, what really sets it apart is the amount of introspection and growth I have undergone during this time.

Square peg, square hole

As an academic, I have conducted research on brand and organizational purpose and collaborated with leading agencies to further explore this topic. Through this work, I also reflected on my own sense of purpose.

After coming back from my initial maternity leave, I discovered that my role as a mother held a profound significance unlike anything I had experienced before. It felt like a whole new level of purpose. While my professional goals remained unchanged, they seemed overshadowed by my new role as a parent.

My lightbulb moment occurred during a conversation with Yewande Akinola. She shared her experiences as a young, female, black engineer, speaking confidently about her career. What struck me was when she expressed feeling out of place in a field traditionally dominated by white middle-aged men. She realized she didn't have to conform to that world; instead, she could shape it to fit her own identity.

The concept of purpose doesn't have to be extravagant. It simply reflects who you are and what matters most to you at a particular moment in your life.

She is an amazing engineer who is successful, inspiring, and a mother of two lovely children. She has even been honored with an MBE for her work. She is not just any working mother; she is unapologetically herself and excels at her job.

She helped me understand that purpose is not something objective, but rather subjective. It is about identifying what meaningful goal you are aiming for. Your professional purpose can be influenced by your purpose as a parent, and vice versa. Purpose does not have to be grand; it can simply reflect who you are and your priorities at that moment in time. For me, my purpose can encompass both my role as a mother and my role as a marketer. It is not a matter of choosing one over the other.

I felt like a square peg in a previously round hole, so I started to figure out how to make the hole square. I can flip the frame and use my marketing skills to make this world fit me better.

Marketing is all about people, something we excel at. Aligning being a good marketer with being a good mum has relieved the pressure of feeling like I have to constantly drive change to have a purpose. Different purposes can coexist without competing.

Reflecting on my values of growth, learning, and nurturing has made me realize that my purpose may revolve around embodying these values in my professional relationships. This mindset now influences the environment I create, the connections I build, and where I choose to focus my time and efforts.

Having a meaningful purpose can manifest in balancing being a marketer and a mother in a way that aligns with my personal needs and goals, and that in itself is fulfilling.

The incredible Mums in Marketing community, led by Claire Ferreira, resonated with the story. They have created a unique culture where no MiM is left behind. The tears shed were a result of shared frustration, experience, and deep understanding. My talk had some funny moments too, but those are best kept within that room.

Before writing about women being emotional, I hesitated and was wary of perpetuating the stereotype of a room full of crying women. But you know what? It's International Women's Day in 2024, and we should not be afraid to embrace emotions and share authentic experiences.

I'm not concerned about stereotypes or being labeled as a 'Mummy'. It's more important for us to share our experiences, tell our stories, and support each other in our professional journeys, no matter what they look like.

Laura Chamberlain is a successful professor at Warwick Business School, as well as a marketer, career strategist, and coach. She is the founder of Think Talk Thrive, a consultancy focused on self-development.

Editor's P/S:

The article delves into the challenges faced by women in balancing motherhood and their professional careers. The author shares her personal experience of feeling out of place after returning from maternity leave, despite her promotion. She highlights the importance of self-discovery and finding a sense of purpose that encompasses both roles. The article resonates with the struggles of many women, as evidenced by the emotional response it elicited from the audience.

The author encourages women to embrace their experiences and support each other in their professional journeys, regardless of stereotypes or labels. She emphasizes the value of authenticity and sharing stories to create a more inclusive and supportive environment for women in the workplace. The article provides valuable insights into the challenges and opportunities faced by women in the modern world, and it serves as an inspiration for women to find their unique path to success and fulfillment. aspects. It also sheds light on the need for supportive communities and mentorship for women to thrive in their careers while embracing their roles as mothers.